Rise and Rise Again
by Rae325
Summary: Regina and Robin in the aftermath of Marian's return. Outlaw Queen. Heavy doses of Regal Believer.
1. Chapter 1

_I'm jumping on the bandwagon and writing a post-finale story. This chapter is a lot of Regina and Henry, but the story will continue down the path of exploring how Regina and Robin are coping with Marian's return and will almost certainly end up as outlaw queen. If Henry seems ooc compared to canon it is because I have a hard time believing that a kid his age has barely struggled at all with the insane changes in his life in the past few years. _

_The title is taken from a line of the 2010 adaptation of _Robin Hood:_ "Rise and rise again until lambs become lions."_

_I would love any feedback you have, and let me know if you're interested in reading more of the story._

* * *

It's too much. A lifetime of hate and loss and injustice swirling back towards the surface and threatening to explode out of her. Regina feels ready to hurt the person nearest to her, the person who has already stolen so much. Emma can sense this, and she's eying Regina with fear, wise enough not to say much in her own defense.

Regina sees Henry then. He's watching her and Emma cautiously, looking so fearful that the newfound peace between his family will once again turn to hate. It's enough to break through Regina's urge to rage against everything that seems to be conspiring against her. Because Henry had believed in her, had thought her a hero, had loved her enough to break a curse with true love's kiss.

Regina will not let him down. She will not make him watch his mothers fight again. She will be better for her son. So she turns and leaves the dinner before she does something that will change the way Henry has finally begun to see her again, as his mother, his hero.

She stumbles from the dinner, and out in the cool spring air Regina feels herself begin to crumble. Everything feels like too much, and she wishes for the oblivion of Zelena's curse, of never having existed. She walks as fast as she can, tears blurring her vision so she can hardly see the sidewalk.

"Mom!" She hears his footfalls as he runs towards her.

Regina wipes furiously at her cheeks, not wanting her son to see her like this.

"Mom!"

She turns in time to see Henry running at her, his arms engulfing her a second later. He presses his face into her neck and just hold on to her tightly. He seems at a loss for what to say, or maybe he understands that there is nothing he can say to make it better. There is nothing that could do more than his arms around her showing her that she is loved, that she isn't alone, that she still has a reason. He hugs her so tightly, and she kisses his head and rubs circles on his back, and she wants to remind him that she is the parent here. Henry might want to be her knight in shining armor, but she is his mother and she will not let him see her fall apart, she won't burden him with that.

Regina hears the door to the diner open, and she knows who will be standing there. Because Robin is too good of a man to not check on her, because he feels that he owes it to her. But she can't bear to look at him now. She stays with Henry in her arms, breathing in the scent of her son, until she hears the door to the diner open and shut again. It sounds like an ending. It sounds like everything she's always known.

Regina pulls back to look at Henry, cradles his face in her hands and manages a watery smile. "Go back inside dear. I'll see you in the morning."

"Are you going home?"

"Don't worry Henry," Regina says, her heart heavy. "I won't hurt anyone."

"No, Mom. I didn't mean that."

"It's ok Henry," Regina reassures her son, because who wouldn't worry about what she might do.

He reaches out and takes her hand. "Let's go home."

"That's very sweet, but I'll be ok." Part of her wants to go home alone so that she can sob and scream and smash everything in sight. And yet she is so afraid of what will come pouring out of her the moment she is alone.

"Is it all right if I come with you?" Henry tries again.

"Of course," Regina says. She wants to tell him that he never needs to ask, that it's his home. But she isn't certain that he still considers it as such. So she takes this gift, even if it is pity or fear, and she lets her son hold her hand and walk her home.

* * *

Regina wonders whether Henry stays because he's afraid of what she'll do if he leaves her alone. She wonders if Henry has taken it upon himself to protect the town from the Evil Queen. Then one afternoon, a few days after Marian returned and Henry followed Regina home, Regina finds her son sitting in the basement, a pile of his old toys and arts and crafts projects and blankets dumped out of storage boxes and strewn all around him.

"What are you doing down here?" Regina asks sitting down on the floor beside Henry and smiling at all the treasures from his childhood. Her hand skims over the old cardboard of a diorama, a wistful smile on her lips.

"You kept everything," Henry says, looking up from the book report in his lap that his mother had spent hours helping him write.

"Of course I did."

"I still remember Emma telling me that they got lost in the move from Boston."

Regina's heart aches at the memory of the year she spent without him and the months where he didn't know who she was. But he knows her now, she reminds herself, fighting back tears of relief. "I wanted you to have as many memories of your childhood as possible. I couldn't reproduce the physical reminders, but I wanted you to have the happy moments with you."

"But I didn't remember any of it. Not like it happened. You spent hours helping me with this stupid book report," Henry says, his throat feeling suddenly thick with tears. "You helped me make that diorama after I ripped the first one up because I insisted that it wasn't good enough. You were the one who taught me to read and told me bedtime stories." He's crying and he feels ridiculous for it because he is 14 years old - he's practically a man now - but everything suddenly feels like too much, and maybe it's felt like too much for so long, but he hasn't let himself say these words out loud. "You let me sleep in your bed when I had nightmares. You were always there for me."

He sounds far too grateful. Regina had tried her hardest when Henry was small to make certain that he never doubted her love, that he never felt it was something he had to earn or something that he could ever lose. "Of course I was Henry. I'm your mother."

"I was wrong. I thought you didn't love me, but I was wrong. I'm sorry."

"You needn't ever apologize," Regina tells him, squeezing his knee tightly. "I'm sorry for every second that you didn't know how very much I always have and always will love you."

He hugs her tightly, and it feels different now that he's nearly as big as she is, but he just wants to be her little boy again. He just wants his mom to take care of him, because he spent so long not letting her do that. And then they'd lost a whole year. And he was nine years old the last time he trusted Regina like this, the last time things felt uncomplicated and she was just his mom. Before he found out that she hadn't given birth to him, and he had started to doubt so much.

Regina rubs circles on Henry's back. And he lets himself cry. Because he had been happy in New York, but she hadn't been there and every happy memory he thought he had of Emma had really been of Regina. And he had loved Emma for those memories, even though he had spent the two years prior to New York convincing himself that those memories of Regina loving him were all a lie.

She's in so much pain herself now, Henry knows, and yet she puts it aside the moment he needs her. Regina's hands are warm and soothing and she rocks him gently jwhile they sit together, and he knows that she's his mom. And Emma might be his mom too, but the woman holding him is the woman who held him as a baby and soothed his tears and chased away his nightmares and changed his diapers. She's the woman who still looks at him like he is her entire world.

He snuffles back the tears eventually, because he's too old to be crying like this. But Regina still holds his cheeks between her hands and wipes away his tears the same way she did when he was small. She smiles at him and he knows. He knows. He has a mother who loves him more than anything, who has loved him from the moment she first held him, who would do anything for him. He has a mother who will never stop loving him no matter how hard he pushes or how far he runs.

"Don't ever leave me again," Henry whispers.

"Oh Henry. I'm not going anywhere ever again. Sending you out of Storybrooke with Emma was the only way to save you."

"You can't do it again. Promise me. You can't leave me"

"I promise you Henry. I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't want to forget you."

"Shh, Henry. I won't let you forget. It's ok now, my little prince. You're home." She takes him back into her arms, and he lets her hold him. Here in the house that he grew up in, with the mother that had raised him, Henry finally lets himself stop trying to be everyone's hero. He lets himself be a boy who need his mom.

* * *

Regina kisses her son good night and with so much love in her heart, she finally walks out into the darkness of her back yard to face something that she has allowed herself to run from for too long.

"You're not nearly as good as you think you are," she calls out into the night.

There's rustling in her apple tree for a moment before Robin jumps down and crosses the yard to meet her on the porch. "You knew I was here?"

"Of course I knew. You've been here every night."

"I didn't want to impose if you didn't wish to see me. I hope you'll forgive me, but I needed to know that you were all right."

"I'm perfectly fine," Regina replies, her spine stiff and her tone even. She tries to remember how to keep herself closed off from this man in whom who only a few days earlier she felt so safe to confide long buried feelings.

He nods and doesn't push. Of course not, Regina thinks, because he knows her. Knows when not to push her, knows when she isn't ready to talk. A few days ago he would have held her or kissed her to simply let her know that he was there and that she was cared for.

Regina reminds herself that she can't want that from him. Robin has his wife, the woman he would gladly walk through hell for, and Regina no longer has any claim to him.

The light from Regina's house illuminates her face just enough for Robin to see how weary she looks, and he wants so badly to chase the sadness from her eyes. He thinks of kissing her each time she had been sad, each time she had missed her son, kissing her and kissing her, until she smiled just a bit and remembered that she wasn't alone, that she was cherished.

Robin wants so badly to give that to her now. But he's a man of honor and he can't. So he stares at her in the darkness for a long moment, trying to memorize every inch of her face. He wishes that he could touch her, and he hates himself so much for that desire.

Robin can't utter the truths that roll around in his head now that he is finally face to face with Regina again. Instead he tells her another truth just as heart breaking. "Roland has begged for a bedtime story from you every night."

"I don't think it's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"I doubt that Marian would want the Evil Queen near her son."

Robin sighs and thinks of the past four nights since Marian returned. He thinks of how she has tried so hard to connect with Roland. He thinks of his little boy struggling to become comfortable with a woman he knows only from stories. "Roland knows more about Marian because you told him that his mother was watching over him than he knows from actually meeting her."

"She's his mother," Regina says and she can't help but feel her heart break for Marian, because Regina knows what it's like to have her son look through her.

"She's a stranger to him," Robin says, because he hasn't said this to anyone and watching his son struggle as he has the past few days has been killing him. "They're both trying, but Roland has only had one woman tell him bed time stories Regina, and all he knows is that you are the woman who has been tucking him in at night and making him feel safe. He just misses you."

"I miss him too," Regina says. She had grown to love that little boy so much in the Enchanted Forest. She owed so much to the child who had made her smile when she was at her very lowest, certain she would never see Henry again. From the moment the curse broke and Roland had regained his memories, he had been glued to Regina's side again.

"I hope that you'll consider spending some time with him. If it's too hard to see me, I won't force myself on you. But please don't forget that there is a little boy who misses his Gina."

Regina smiles and remembers how Roland had begun calling her his Gina in the Enchanted Forest. How he would come to her bed chambers every night asking for a story.

"Talk to your wife Robin. If it's all right with both of you, I would be happy to see Roland."

They stand in darkness for long moments staring at each other before Regina turns and walks back inside leaving Robin alone on the porch of a house that he had imagined only a few days ago could become his home.


	2. Chapter 2

Regina doesn't get much sleep that night after talking to Robin, and so she's already in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee when Henry comes down stairs.

"Morning Mom," Henry says, ducking into the refrigerator to take out the orange juice. His eyes are down cast when he walks past her to get a glass before sitting next to her at the table.

"Good morning sweetheart," Regina says, brow furrowing at the way Henry doesn't look her in the eyes. "Did you sleep well?"

He nods into his juice, and Regina thinks she understands. Henry had cried harder last night than she's seen him cry in years. He had cried in her arms and told her his fears. And somewhere along the line, Regina had taught her son to be afraid of being open and vulnerable. She had never meant to, of course, but she knows how much children learn from their parents, even the things that parents never truly mean to teach.

Of course Henry had learned this message though, because he watched his mother lock her vulnerability away his whole life. The thought of this unintentional lesson takes Regina's breath away. "Henry," she says, her voice serious, as she lifts up his chin and brings his eyes to meet hers. She wants her boy to be able to accept love and support, she never wants him to feel the fear that she has about opening her heart. "I love you so much, and I am so proud of the young man that you've become."

Henry blushes but smiles up at Regina. She thinks that there is still time to change the damage that she's done, still time to be better for her son, to show him that she loves him even more for sharing his fears with her. There's still a chance for her to do this, because miraculously he still trusts her, still loves her. She leans forward and kisses his forehead, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. "You will always be my little prince, no matter how old you get. And I will always be here to take care of you when you need me."

"I love you Mom," Henry tells her, because he'd gone so long not telling her, so long pretending that she didn't matter to him. She smiles at him like he's the most precious, most important person in the whole world. To her he knows that he absolutely is.

"What shall we do today?" Regina asks Henry when she releases his face from her palms, relieved when he continues to hold her gaze with an easy smile. She vows to herself that she won't ruin her second chance with her son. Her second chance at love might have passed her by, but she's been given a more important chance, one to be a better mother, to help Henry know how to be happy. Regina promises herself that even if it hurts like hell, she won't run and hide herself away again, she won't give into the anger and the fears that stir inside her, because there are things that she must teach her son before it's too late.

"We don't have to do anything special," Henry tells Regina. He does know how much she's lost in the last few days, how much she must be hurting.

"What do you say to French toast and then if you want we can we can go riding. I bet you didn't get to do much of that in New York."

"The only horses I saw were the ones in Central Park."

"Think you still remember how?" Regina asks, raising her eyebrow in challenge.

"Bring it on."

"That's my boy."

Regina stands to collect ingredients for breakfast, but she doesn't miss the way Henry's eyes light up at the reminder that he is hers.

* * *

Regina is walking down the frozen food aisle when she hears a little voice yell "Gina!" She turns just in time to catch Roland as he flings himself into her arms.

She spins him around and he giggles, and Regina is overwhelmed by how much she missed that little dimpled smile. "Hi sweetie," she says, settling the boy on her hip. "Are you shopping all alone today?" she asks looking around for Robin and Marian.

Roland shakes his head and laughs at Regina's silliness. "My mama's with me."

Regina's spine stiffens at the thought of meeting Marian alone. "It's very nice of you to help her shop," she tells the boy. "I bet she's looking for you. Should we go find her?"

Roland just shrugs and his face falls, and Regina wonders just how difficult his mother's reappearance has been for the little boy to deal with. She kisses Roland's cheek and snuggles him tightly, and he seems to relish the familiarity of her arms. "You're very lucky to have a mama that loves you as much as yours does," Regina tells Roland. She just wants to make it easier for him. She thinks of how hard she made it for Henry to feel comfortable loving her and Emma, and she vows never again to hurt someone she cares for that way.

Roland rests his head on Regina's shoulder and begins babbling about his day. It's terribly familiar, and it makes Regina want to cry thinking of what she almost had.

"Maid Marian," Regina says, her voice even as she tries not to frighten the woman. None the less Marian jumps and knocks a pile of oranges onto the ground. "I'm sorry to startle you. I simply wanted to return Roland before you began to fear for his whereabouts."

"Roland, why did you run off like that?" Marian asks, reaching out for the boy who stays settled with his arms around Regina's neck.

"I saw Gina," Roland replies, as though that should be obvious and a perfectly good reason.

Regina sets the little boy on the ground. "Can you please help pick up the oranges," she asks, and Roland immediately sets himself to the task, running off to find the fruit that has rolled away.

"I apologize again for frightening you," Regina begins, standing to look at Marian. "And I wish to apologize for everything that I've done to you. There's no way for me to ever make it right, but I want to assure you that you and your family are safe here. I would never do anything to cause Roland any harm."

"You must have spent a lot of time with him," Marian says, and Regina knows that the woman suspects the reality of the situation that Emma Swan dropped her into. "He asks for you every day."

"You have a very special son," Regina replies simply. Roland returns with his arms full of oranges. "What a good helper!" Regina exclaims, taking the fruit from him and setting them back down on the display. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he tells her, toothy grin back in full force.

"Have fun with your mama," Regina tells the little boy. She walks away before she has to hear him ask her to stay.

Regina leaves her grocery cart in the freezer aisle and runs to her car. She had been such a fool to think that she could escape her past, a fool to think that she deserved to. Regina loves Roland with her whole heart, and yet she had been the one to steal his mother from him. She had ruined Roland's life, ruined Robin's life; of course she never deserved to have them in hers. She was the Evil Queen, and that isn't something that you can simply apologize for and leave behind.

But Regina had seen the proof of her ability to change when she had taken the amulet from Zalena. Regina had seen her magic change color, had truly believed that she could have a new start, that she was in a position to try to teach her sister about the promise of second chances.

Regina is almost afraid to know what her magic looks like now, afraid to see the visible proof of her new beginning slipping away from her. But she has to know, she has to know whether there is still good in her, whether she can be everything Henry needs her to be. She takes a deep breath and steadies herself and then concentrates on bringing an apple to her open palm.

When the apple appears in a flash of white light, Regina nearly cries in relief.

* * *

The first time Regina sees Emma and the Charmings again, Henry and Regina are on their way home from a day out with their horses. Regina is doing her best to hold onto the possibility of being good, because her son wakes up every morning and looks at her with unquestioning faith that he hasn't had in her since he was so young. So she's trying not to let the shadows of the past overwhelm her. She walks into the stables with Henry and tries not to think of Daniel or Snow or Robin. She tries only to think of teaching Henry to ride when he was five years old, because she had wanted him to grow up with the same love of horses and of nature that had centered Regina through the most difficult experiences of her own childhood.

Regina hangs back when Henry goes to say hello to his family, and she can hear them invite Henry home with them for dinner.

He looks conflicted, and Regina reminds herself of the promise she's made to herself. "You should go," Regina encourages her son.

"But we were going to make lasagna together tonight."

"It's ok, we can cook another night," Regina tells her son. "They're your family Henry, and I know that in the past I've tried to keep you from them, but I shouldn't have done that. You have so many people who love you dear, and that is a wonderful thing."

"You can come with us," Henry suggests.

"I imagine that Snow and David don't want to host a dinner party. They have a new baby."

Snow steps forward, baby Neal is her arms, and smiles tentatively at Regina. "We would love to have you," Snow says warmly, unsure if the fragile understanding between herself and Regina remains. Snow knows it does when she sees the gleam of tears in Regina's eyes.

Regina nods, and Snow can see how hard Regina is trying to continue fighting the darkness. "I can cook," Regina offers. "I've had David's cooking and I wouldn't want everyone to suffer that fate."

Snow chuckles and together they she and Regina walk back towards Emma and David.

Emma looks almost nervous. "Regina, I'm -"

Regina holds up a hand. She can't do this now. She'll forgive Emma eventually, but for now, she can't bring herself to, and she doesn't want Henry to see that.

Emma thankfully lets it go, and turns back to chatting with Henry.

Snow is dying to ask how Regina is holding up. But Snow knows that she has to wait for Regina to reach out, that pushing has never gotten them anywhere good. It's Regina who breaks the silence a moment later, "You look exhausted. Is Neal letting you get any sleep?"

Snow shakes her head, looking down at her baby fondly. "Was Henry the same way?" she asks, and Regina finds herself surprised by the acknowledgement of her role as Henry's mother. It's been hard won with the Charmings to treat Regina as his mother. So much has been hard won for Regina, and finally she begins to think that things with Snow needn't always be a battle.

"Months of colic," Regina replies, but still she's smiling because she remembers when Henry was so small that she could carry him in her arms.

"Let's hope Henry's uncle doesn't take after him," Snow tells Regina, causing both women to chuckle. Their lives are so strangely woven together and for the first time that feels all right.

"I'm happy to help with him if you or Charming need a break."

"Thank you." Snow's anxiety is melting away. She had wondered what Regina would be like after Marian's return, would she be spiteful or broken beyond reaching. Snow hated to admit it, but she had wondered how much of the Evil Queen would have returned. But this Regina Snow thinks she can still reach, because Regina hasn't closed herself off, Henry had made certain of that, Snow thinks. "Regina? I've been wanting to ask you something."

"What's that?"

"Neal needs a godmother."

Regina raises her eyebrow, looking amused at the absurd suggestion. "You're asking me to be your son's godmother. Are you insane? Did you forget that when I was you stepmother I tried to murder you?"

"This would be your choice Regina," Snow whispers into the night. The words are thick, and Regina wonders whether Snow is crying. "I saw enough of the past through Cora's eyes to begin to understand things a little better. I couldn't have asked for a better father, but that doesn't mean that I am completely naive."

Regina swallows thickly, and she knows how much it takes for Snow to say this, because Regina still struggles to acknowledge the reality of who her mother had been. "I suppose the boy could benefit from a godmother who doesn't think that pixie dust and shiny new shoes are the answer to everything."

Snow grins widely, and for once Regina doesn't find the expression infuriating. "It's settled then. Do you want to hold him?"

Snow hands her child to Regina, who cradles the baby to her chest. "He's beautiful," Regina whispers, looking at the woman she had spent so long trying to destroy, and in that moment Regina can feel more forgiveness than she thinks she ever will deserve.

* * *

Emma finds Henry alone after dinner while he packs up some more of his things to bring to Regina's. She wonders whether Henry plans to stay with Regina indefinitely, but she doesn't dare ask. Instead, she settles on another question that's been gnawing at her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Henry tells her, looking up from the knapsack he's packing.

Emma sits down on the bed next to Henry. "Do you still have the memories of growing up with me?"

"Yeah, don't you?"

"I do," Emma says with a smile that looks so very sad. "Are those Regina's memories?" Emma had claimed not too long ago that Henry would be better off not remembering, that all he had with Regina were difficult and traumatic memories. But if the memories Emma had of Henry's childhood were really of his childhood, then he had been such a happy and loved kid.

Henry nods, focusing on the memories he knows to be real and pushing away the ones that he had spent a year believing. "Mom?" Henry says, and Emma is grateful that he still addresses her that way. "You told me when I first found you that you gave me up so that I could have my best chance." Emma nods, and she feels that pain of giving up her child once again settle in her chest. "You gave that to me. I know when I found you, I told you that my Mom didn't love me, but I was little and really confused. I'm glad I found you, I really am. But I was happy growing up; my Mom gave me a good life."

"I know that," Emma tells Henry, because she does truly know this. She simply wonders where that leaves her; if she isn't saving Henry from a childhood with the Evil Queen, what is her role in his life? "When did you get so grown up, kid."

Henry shrugs and hugs Emma. He picks up the knapsack and leaves Emma alone with the reality of the pasts that she and Henry had truly lived.

* * *

"You ready to go home?" Henry asks Regina who's finishing cleaning the dishes from dinner while Snow and Charming sleep on the couch.

"You can stay with Emma if you want sweetheart. You haven't seen much of her this week."

"I just want to spend some time with you, Mom," Henry tells Regina, and it shouldn't bring tears to her eyes but it does. She blinks them back with a smile at Henry.

"Go get your coat," Regina tells him. She finishes wiping down the kitchen counter before Henry returns, a tired looking Emma sheepishly trailing behind.

"Night kid," Emma says as Henry leaves her side and runs towards Regina. There's still a part of Emma that wants to pack up Henry and run back to the life they'd had in New York, but as she watches Henry with the mother who had taught him to ride a bike and stayed with him in the hospital when he had his appendix removed, Emma wonders whether Henry would even agree to leave Regina. Emma doesn't think she wants to find out.

"Night!" Henry says, opening the door to the loft and stepping out into the hallway.

"Good night Regina," Emma adds timidly.

"Good night Miss Swan."

* * *

"Can we have a movie marathon?" Henry asks on the way home.

"It's already late," Regina tells him, looking up at the clock tower looming over the town.

"It's only eleven," Henry whines. "And it's Saturday night."

"All right," Regina agrees too easily, because she wants every moment she can have with Henry. He's growing up so quickly, and how much longer will he want to spend Saturday night watching movie with his mother?

Regina wraps her arm around Henry's shoulder, and he leans into her, remembering when he was a little boy and Regina's presence had been everything he needed to feel safe. "You know how I told you about that tree in New York that looked like yours?" Henry asks.

"I remember sweetheart."

"That kept happening. I'd have this feeling, like deja vu or something."

Regina looks over at Henry with a soft smile. She'd felt that with Robin in Storybrooke, had felt a connection to him that she could't explain. Even if she didn't remember a year of knowing him - a year where he had seen her at her most vulnerable and hadn't been frightened by that weakness or by her desperate attempts to push him away - it had been as if her heart recognized him. She pushes the thoughts of Robin from her mind. Henry is pressed close to her side, her son who remembers her, who loves her still. She needn't focus on anything else.

"Every time I met someone who wore the same perfume as you, I didn't understand why I'd get this really warm feeling, like being home and safe. And then sometimes I'd get sad for no reason. I was happy in New York, but sometimes I felt so sad, like something was missing and I didn't understand why I felt that way."

"Oh Henry," Regina breathes, leaning down to press her lips to her son's hair and pull him closer. "You're home now, and everything is going to be ok," Regina promises. "You've been stronger than anyone should need to be these last few years, and I am so sorry."

"It's ok Mom. You're right; everything is going to be ok now, for both of us. I promise."

"My sweet little boy. You don't need to worry about me."

"I do though," Henry says, looking up at Regina with such earnestness. "I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy."

"I am Henry," she tells him, almost surprised by how much she means it. Because even if she aches with the loss of Robin, she has her beautiful son right here. She has a second chance with her baby, and it is probably more than she deserves, but it's still hers. "How could I not be happy right now? I have an evening of watching movies and eating too much popcorn with you ahead of me."

Regina is grinning down at Henry, her smile wide and genuine, and he grins back up at her. "Star Wars marathon?" he asks.

"You're on."

"Really? That's like 20 hours of movies. I thought it was already past my bedtime," Henry teases.

"One week's allowance says you're asleep before The Empire Strikes Back is over," Regina volleys back.

"You're on!"

Regina just chuckles. This feels so right. Even if Henry is a zombie tomorrow after a far too long night of movie watching, it doesn't matter. They have tomorrow to sleep late and lounge around in their pajamas. They finally have time together to mend what Regina had believed was irrevocably broken, and right now, Regina thinks, this is exactly what she and her son need.

From the edge of the woods, Robin watches Regina and Henry pass by and his heart physically aches. Watching Regina with her son always touches Robin in a way that he can hardly describe. How many times had she insisted in words or in actions that there was nothing worth loving in her. But she adopted the grandchild of a woman she considered an enemy, offering that boy nothing but unconditional love. That alone would have been enough for Robin to feel something for Regina.

But she had shown him so much more. She had trusted him with parts of herself that Robin knows she doesn't show easily, that he wonders whether she had been able to show to anyone else. She had only been beginning to open herself up, and he had cherished every part of her that he had seen, had loved her more for it. He had wanted to spend a lifetime discovering more of Regina. He still does. He still wants to know her intimately, and he cannot imagine a day when he no longer will want that.

* * *

Robin barely sleeps for days. After Regina had confronted him in her backyard, he had respected her desire for distance. He wakes at night and leaves his wife's side. He passes hours staring at his son or sitting by the fire, the light throwing his tattoo into sharp relief. He remembers the joy he felt when Regina told him about what that tattoo meant to her.

Robin spends night after night thinking of Regina, her eyes shining with hope and contentment as she lay on top of him, her body relaxing and tension drifting away. He longs for the feeling of her skin against his, for the comfort she brought him, the feeling of being in sync with someone, of being wanted and understood. Regina had made Robin laugh and smile and want. His skin had hummed with desire and his heart had felt so full of something that he had not yet possessed to courage to put words to.

For three nights Robin stays away from Regina. Three nights he goes to sleep beside Marian and makes excuses for not touching her. He can't tell her that the thought of sleeping with her feels like betraying another woman. Marian is Robin's wife, the first woman he truly loved. He should be nothing but grateful that she is back beside him, but nothing feels the same now.

It kills him to think of how this must be hurting Regina. What must she think, this woman whom Robin knows hardly trusted that she deserved anything good to come to her. He had wanted to prove it to her, had wanted to show her that she brought him so much joy, that she was good and loving and deserving of love. He had wanted to be the person to give that to her.

He lasts three nights and then he gives in to the need to see her. He tell himself that he's simply checking on her, that this is all for Regina, that he must make certain that she's all right. But he finds her walking down Main Street with her arm around Henry, matching smiles on mother and son's faces.

They look happy. Regina looks ok. But still Robin follows Regina home, hiding outside her house to peer in as she and Henry snuggle of the couch sharing the largest bowl of popcorn Robin thinks he has ever seen.

Robin sits under Regina's apple tree long after Henry has fallen asleep on his mother's shoulder, and Regina remains on the couch, stroking her son's hair and looking so grateful for her child's return. Robin wants to be a part of that. He wants to see Regina happy; he wants to be part of that joy. It hurts how much Robin wants to go inside and sit down on the couch next to Regina, and hear her tell stories about her son. Robin wants to wrap his arms around Regina so much that his body aches with longing. He needs her more than he thought he would ever let himself need someone again.

Robin's men are true and loyal, but they aren't people that he can pour his soul out to. He can't tell them that when he'd loved Marian he had been a different man. He hadn't known pain and despair when he had been her husband. He hadn't understood what it was to carry guilt or sorrow that feels inescapable. For his son's sake Robin had survived that pain, but he had never truly shared what the experience had been like with anyone until he met Regina. Being open with her had been so easy, and he desperately wants that comfort. He knows it's selfish, but he wants the woman who understand him back.

Robin wants to confess to Regina how he knows that he should be ecstatic, that he should want nothing more than what he has now. But he goes to bed every night thinking of what he's lost as much as what he's gained. And he hates himself for it. But he can't tell Regina these things, can't burden her this way. Not when he has put her through so much already.

Robin buries his face in his hands. It's too much. He knows he should leave, knows that he has no right to be here in Regina's yard, that she cannot be the one he leans on now. But he can't bring himself to leave. So he sits under her apple tree and for the first time since his wife returned from the dead, Robin allows himself to cry.

* * *

Henry wins the bet, but just barely. He's snoring on Regina's shoulder before the opening of The Empire Strikes Back has concluded. Regina soaks in the warmth of her son, debating what to do about the fact that Robin is once again outside her house in the middle of the night. She considers ignoring him. This night has been filled with emotions, and Regina doesn't know that she has the strength to close herself off and rebuild the walls that will be necessary to face Robin without breaking down.

Regina stays with Henry until she hears - no that can't be right, Robin is too far away and the television is too loud in the background - his sobs. She stands from the couch, laying Henry down with a throw blanket covering him, and looks out into her yard.

She goes to Robin because he needs someone. He had given her so much, had reached out to her again and again, even as she pushed him away in the Enchanted Forest. He had gone to her with no promise of a relationship, no promise of even the slightest kindness. She goes to him now because she cares for him so deeply, thinks she will always care for him. Even without the hope of a future with Robin, she must go to him because he is sobbing. Curled in on himself under her apple tree, his shoulders are shaking with sobs.

"Robin," she whispers kneeling beside him, not wishing to startle him.

"I was so happy," Robin cries, face still buried in his hands. "I was so happy."

The words catch Regina off guard, and she wonders when exactly he means. Happy with Marian in the Enchanted Forest perhaps. Regina cannot let herself believe that he could possibly mean happy with her. "You will be again," she soothes.

"I've dreamt of this for years," Robin spits out, self loathing burning in his chest. "I should be happy. I shouldn't… It isn't the same anymore."

"Give it time," Regina says, though it hurts so very much. She cares for him, she reminds herself, and that means not being selfish. That means doing what is best for him, even if it feels like it is killing her.

"I don't want time. I was so happy before. I was so happy with you. When you told me I was your soulmate, I wasn't frightened. I thought that I could spend my whole life with you. God, I shouldn't think these things, but I can't stop."

It's everything Regina should want to hear, but it's all so wrong because she knows Robin will still leave when this conversation is over and go home to his wife. Regina takes a breath and reminds herself of who she is and who she will always be.

"It'll pass," she tells Robin, a hard edge to her voice now.

But Robin knows her. He knows this tone from when Regina had tried to push him away in the Enchanted Forest. And underneath he hears the self loathing. This woman who asked over and over what he could possibly see in her, still obviously doesn't know.

"What if I don't want it to?" Robin asks, and he knows it's unfair to say these things to Regina, but he doesn't know how to give up what he found with her.

"Then you're a fool." Her voice is hard and cold, and Robin hates it. He used to be someone she spoke to with openness. He doesn't want to go back to being on the outside. "I'm the woman who killed your wife. Nothing more."

"No, don't do this," Robin says, lifting his head and looking Regina squarely in the eye. "I don't know if you're trying to make this easier for me or for you, but I can't let you forget that you aren't the Evil Queen anymore. You are a good woman, and I can't bear to hear you say differently."

"Like I said, a fool. Your wife would be dead because of me if Miss Swan and the pirate hadn't saved her. I'm the reason that your son grew up without his mother. You shouldn't waste another moment thinking of me."

Robin shakes his head. "That isn't true. Marian didn't die by your hands. I was the one who ultimately got my wife killed."

"Emma told me that I was planning to execute Marian for helping Snow."

"And you were, but that isn't how she died."

"How do you know?"

"It's strange," Robin muses. "I still remember Marian escaping from the dungeons along with a dozen other prisoners. They escaped and I was certain that someone would come for her again, that I would need to fight to protect her, but no one ever came."

"That I had so many prisoners that I didn't notice when a dozen went missing should hardly make you think that I'm a woman worth caring about."

Silence settles around them for a moment, and Regina thinks that Robin is picking his words carefully, trying to decide how best to reach her. It is then that she really studies him for the first time. He looks exhausted and so very sad. Regina hadn't considered for a moment that Robin would be anything other than elated to have his wife back. Regina most certainly hadn't considered that he would give her a second thought. She was his second chance. His second choice. Regina had been prepared for many reactions from Robin in light of his wife's return, but this had not been one of them.

"I don't understand," Regina whispers, unable to make her voice any stronger. "You knew that I had captured your wife and that I very nearly caused her death the entire time we spent together."

"Yes, I did," Robin replies, and she hears the certainty creep back into his voice, as it always does when he is trying to convince her of how much he cares for her, of how much he believes in her.

"Then you should have known better than to ever trust me."

Robin smiles at Regina then with that infuriating smile she associates with their year together in the Enchanted Forest. "When did you ever prove me wrong for trusting in you?"

Regina sighs and settles her back against the trunk of the tree beside Robin. "I just want you to be happy," Regina says, her voice no longer harsh as she resigns herself to the fact that she's already let Robin in so far that he can see right through her masks. "I'm trying not to be that woman any more. I'm trying not to be selfish, and that means letting you and Roland be happy."

"But I'm not," Robin says so sadly that Regina wishes that it was still her place to be able to take him in her arms and hold him. "I'm not happy."

"It's only been a week."

"I miss you so much," Robin admits, before he seems to remember how much Regina must be hurting, how much his words must be making this all harder for her. It has just begun to come so naturally for him to confide in her. "I'm sorry Regina. I simply don't know how to deal with any of this."

"You go home," Regina tells him with certainty. "Go home to your wife and your son before you say something that you will regret. Go back to your life Robin and leave me to mine."

Regina goes inside her house, checks that Henry is still asleep, and then locks her bedroom door before she sinks to the ground and can't stop the tears that come.

* * *

In a way Robin feels better when Snow and David corner him the next day outside Granny's diner. He wants to be the one to defend Regina, but at least she had people standing by her now.

"Can we have a word with you," David asks, sounding very serious.

Marian stops to find out what the problem is. "It's all right," Robin assures her. "I'll meet you and Roland inside." The boy shoots a backward glance at his father, and Robin knows that Roland is still learning to trust the mother that he's only just met.

David waits until Marian and Roland have disappeared into the restaurant to address Robin again. "I understand what you're going through. When I first woke up in this realm I was married to Kathryn, but I couldn't stop myself from loving Mary Margaret. I let that go on for a long time until Snow stopped me. But the truth is that it was terribly unfair to both of them."

"David…" Robin begins, but then he doesn't know what to say next. He can't deny his feeling for Regina and still call himself an honest man.

Snow speaks next, her eyes warm and kind, a reassuring hard pressed to Robin's arm as if they are old friends. "If you truly still want to be with Regina then you need to be certain. I know that she acts like she's unbreakable, but she's been hurt so much. I don't know how many times she can lose someone she cares about and not break again."

"Believe me Snow, I know that Regina showing me her heart as she did was not easy for her, and it's a gift that I do not take for granted."

"Good," Snow says, trying her best to sound intimidating. "Then you need to decide what you want before you seek her out again. Talk to Dr. Hopper or Friar Tuck if you are looking for a confidant. That isn't Regina's responsibility."

"I know, and I'm sorry. Last night I was entirely out of line. What I said-"

"Regina didn't break your confidence. I don't know what transpired between you two last night, only that it was very clear that Regina was in pain when I saw her this morning."

"It was never my intention to cause her pain."

"I believe you," Snow tells Robin. "Now you need to try harder to make certain that you don't cause her more in the future."

* * *

It shouldn't feel like betrayal when his wife begins stripping off his trousers, but it does. It does, because Robin is not a man who has meaningless dalliances, and when he had made love to Regina, he had intended it as a beginning, a promise.

He stills Marian's hands. "I'm sorry."

She doesn't say anything for a long time, just lies silently beside him.

"Many years have passed for you," Marian whispers. "You're so different from the husband I left in the Enchanted Forest."

"I lived without you for years, Marian. I mourned you; I cradled Roland in my arms and promised that I would somehow learn to be both mother and father to him. For a long time I opened my heart only to our son, and then I met someone."

Marian squeezes her eyes tightly against the burn of tears. She know what her husband is about to say. Marian knows who, if not from the glances he steals at the woman who had tried to kill her, then from the way Roland runs to her each time their paths cross.

"Has she truly changed?" Marian asks, because it's easier than asking anything of Robin and his feelings.

"She has."

"You need to leave," Marian says, handing Robin his jacket. "I'm not angry with you Robin. I wouldn't have wanted you to grieve forever."

She may not be angry, but Robin knows that his wife is devastated. "I'm so sorry Marian. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know that. But now I need you to leave. We can talk in the morning, but I can't now."

Robin nearly begs to stay. He nearly says that they will work it out, that he can overcome what his heart is feeling, that he can be her husband again. But then Robin lets another feeling settle inside him. He has a choice, he realizes for perhaps the first time; struggling to make this work needn't be a foregone conclusion. There is another road, and though it might be difficult, it is there for him to take should he choose to.

"I'm so sorry," Robin tells Marian again.

"I know you are," she replies, her eyes closed.

Robin stares at Marian for a long moment before he takes his jacket and exits their tent. The cool air washes over him and feels terrified and thrilled by the possibilities in front of him.


	3. Chapter 3

When Robin exists his tent, he finds a group of his men still awake by the fire. He entrusts them with watching over Roland and Marian and then, though it is the dead of night, he walks into the forest.

For two days he loses himself there, and just as it had in the days and weeks following Marian's death, the vastness of the forest allows his tortured mind a place to be free.

He thinks of Marian and the innocence of his first real love. Things had been so simple when he had been a young man convinced of his own invulnerability. He and Marian had loved each other completely, and he had saved her from a life she didn't want to live. It was a tale that belonged in the story book he had seen the Charmings reading from, or indeed, in the cartoon that Henry had insisted that Robin watch in which he had been depicted as a fox.

But death and loss and forgiveness weren't what these stories were made of. There wasn't a mention in those tales of the days after Marian's death when Robin's anger at the world had overwhelmed all else. He hadn't stolen for justice in those days, but because the world had taken from him and certainly he had every right to take as he pleased. He had hated himself so much then that it mattered little what else he did.

It was only when he caught sight of his two year old son hitting and stealing from another child that Robin had realized that he needed to change. He had spent over a year falling lower and lower with no consideration of what that meant for others until he realized what he had taught his son. He vowed that day that he would be better for Roland's sake and he had been.

He had struggled to claw his way back, to be a good man again, and maybe his crimes had been different from Regina's, but she understood what it was like to try to remake oneself after becoming so horribly lost in pain and guilt and rage.

He had come back from that and become a good and honorable man, a man that Roland could be proud to call _papa. _But the happiness he had felt these last few weeks had been so much more than he had ever expected to feel again. He was so happy with Regina, and he wanted so much to make her happy. It hurt to see her hurt, and it had brought Robin such joy to be able to help erase the sadness from her face, to make her smile and laugh and look so very young and free.

* * *

When Robin returns to the camp Roland is out hunting with some of the men and Marian is nowhere in sight. He seeks her out and finds her by the harbor, staring out at the sea.

"Marian."

"Hello," she replies, turning to him with a smile, and Robin finds that he can't exactly read her expression.

"I see you're taking to this world's fashions," he says, struggling as he never had in the past, to find words to speak to Marian.

"Mulan was kind enough to help. She tells me that there are many things that are different here, but many are better too."

Robin is grateful to his friend for her assistance, but also so very guilty, because he should be the one helping Marian to adjust to this life. "I will help you in any way you possible," Robin vows. "I wish I could still be the husband you need, but even if I am not your husband anymore I promise to always take care of you."

Marian smiles with a little laugh. "One of the things that Mulan was most fond of in this world is that women can be on their own much more easily. In our world, there were only a few women who ever did that, and surely it wasn't easy. But here it seems quite normal for women to be without a man. There's never been a time in my life when I didn't belong to a man in one way or another: my father, the sheriff, and then you."

"Marian," Robin gasps appalled. "Surely you know that I never considered you a possession. I loved you with my whole heart."

"I know Robin, but I think that perhaps it's time for me to learn who I am on my own now. I want to learn to make my own way in this new world."

"You shouldn't have to."

"You aren't listening. I love you Robin, and I still wake up thinking you're my husband most mornings. But you've grown, you've figured out who you are. There's a wisdom within you that my husband never possessed. Perhaps it's my turn now, and maybe this strange turn of fate will allow me to find out who Marian really is. I'm trying to be grateful for what I have, even if it isn't what I wanted or expected. I still have a chance to be Roland's mother, and I have a chance to be on my own."

"You never cease to amaze me," Robin says fondly, and Marian forces herself to stare into his eyes and see that even though there is love for her, it is so very very different than it had been before. He cares for her of course, but his heart is no longer hers. It hurts so very much, and yet Marian does not turn away.

"Snow White offered me a job at the school," Marian finally says to break the silence. "I think that perhaps I'll take it. I also asked Snow what her thoughts were about allowing the Queen to be near Roland."

"Marian-"

"You misunderstand me. I may not know Roland well, but I am still his mother and I need to protect him."

"Regina adores Roland."

Marian nods. "So I've gathered. Snow had some surprising things to say about the Queen. Apparently she's the godmother to Snow's son. I don't pretend to understand what has passed in the decades I've been absent, but Snow assured me that you and Roland would be safe."

Robin stares at the woman who had been his wife; in her words he can hear her giving him her blessing, and he finds that he lacks the words to express his gratitude.

* * *

Regina has just sat down on her back porch with a glass of cider after work when Robin finds her. She looks exhausted, and he wonders whether she has had as much difficulty sleeping as he has these past nights.

Regina presses her lips together in an imitation of a smile to acknowledge Robin's presence.

"Do you think that we could speak?" he asks.

Regina takes a breath and gathers her resolve. "Come in." Robin follows her to the sitting room. "Cider?"

"I thought you didn't daytime drink," Robin can't help but tease.

"I make exceptions," Regina says pouring Robin a glass. "Besides it's almost evening. The sun is about to set."

Robin finds himself disappointed when Regina sits down on the couch catty-corner to where he's sitting.

"It was never my intention to hurt you," Robin blurts out immediately. "I acted wrongly, and now I can only beg your forgiveness and hope that you will grant me an opportunity to make amends."

Regina shakes her head. "You did nothing wrong."

"I should have gone to you after Marian returned. I should have talked to you sooner. I should never have let you believe that I didn't want you anymore."

"Your wife came back to you. I didn't need an explanation."

It hurts Robin so badly to hear that Regina never thought she could compare to Marian, that she was always just a substitute for the woman he truly wanted. He stands and walks to Regina's side, sitting down next to her, inches between them that still feel like far too much space. "I am so sorry. A week ago you and I were talking about being destined to be together. Did you think I had stopped feeling that way because Marian returned?"

"You love her."

"Of course I love her, just as I am certain that you will always love Daniel. But that doesn't mean that you and I are anything less that we were before her return. I know what's between us is still new, but I already was - am - falling in love with you."

Regina hadn't believed that she could hurt more, but hearing Robin tell her that he could have loved her is so much worse. Happiness had been so very close. She doesn't realize that she's crying until Robin's hand is on her cheek, and it's shocking to be touched like this again. His thumb is stroking her cheek and his fingers are in her hair. It's too much, and Regina almost doesn't hear Robin when he tell her "I don't want what we have to end. If you'll allow it, I want to see where this leads."

Regina can't find the words to answer Robin. This seems too good to be true. Certainly he will realize his mistake soon enough.

"You needn't answer now. I can give you all the time you require to decide what you want to do, but know that I'll be waiting for you."

"What happened with Marian?"

"It was plain to her that my heart no longer belonged to her."

Regina laughs harshly and pulls away from Robin. "So you're here because your wife kicked you out of your marital tent?"

"No I'm here because Marian helped me realize that I have a choice. I'm here because you are my choice, and if I'm yours then I want to see where this leads us."

"I need to start dinner," Regina tells Robin, standing and smoothing the invisible creases on her dress. "Henry will be home soon. You know the way out."

Robin sighs and thinks that if he learned anything during his year in the Enchanted Forest, it is how to wait for Regina Mills.

* * *

"Mom, are you listening to me?" Henry asks, his mother staring into her plate as if her pasta is suddenly the most fascinating thing she's ever seen.

"I'm sorry dear. What did you say?" Regina looks up at Henry with as much of a smile as she can muster.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing dear. Tell me more about Coney Island."

"I'm not a little kid anymore," Henry says, putting down his utensils, crossing his arms, and fixing Regina with a resolved gaze.

"Believe me, I've noticed how grown up you've become."

"Then why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

"Because no matter how old you get, I am still your mother and I take care of you, not the other way around."

"You can still talk to me though. I know something happened today."

"I was just thinking, that's all."

"About Robin?"

Regina sighs and nods. "I mean it though Henry. You don't need to worry about me."

"I saw on him at Granny's on my way home today. He looked really sad."

Regina looks up at Henry curiously. That must have been after Robin left her house. "Who was he there with?"

"He was alone. Wait a minute! He's not with Marian, is he?"

"I don't know…" Regina says. She knows what Robin had said, but she had half believed that the moment she turned Robin away he would return to his wife.

"Mom! Come on. What happened?"

"Robin came to talk to me earlier."

"What did he say? Why didn't you call me?" Henry asks, sitting up straighter and puffing out his chest.

Regina smiles at Henry and reaches over to cup his cheek in his palm. "My knight in shining armor. You've spent too much time with your grandfather."

"Nah, I get it from my mom," Henry says with a grin, and Regina almost wonders whether he means Emma. "You'd do anything to protect me. That's what family means. _You_ taught me that, Mom."

"How did I ever get so lucky?"

"I don't know. I am pretty awesome, aren't I?" Henry says grinning. "Which is why you should tell me what's going on with Robin."

"You are relentless."

"Pretty sure that's your fault too."

"Probably," Regina acknowledges. "I love you Henry."

"I know you do. I love you too. And I want you to be happy."

"I am sweetie. I have you. I don't need anything else to be happy."

"But you were happy with Robin. I _know_ you were. If he isn't with Marian anymore then you can still be together."

"It isn't that simple."

"Why not? You deserve a happy ending. He's your soulmate!"

"I should never have let you talk to Tink."

"It's the truth though."

"That only means so much sweetheart. Perhaps if things were different, a different time or place maybe, we could be together."

"But you can be together!" Henry insists, folding his arms again. "If you would just believe. You have a chance to have the happy ending you deserve."

Regina smiles sadly, touched by Henry's faith in her. "Can we please just finish our dinner Henry? I'd rather not think about Robin anymore tonight."

"Fine. I'll leave you alone for tonight. But I'm not making any promises about tomorrow Mom. You deserve your happy ending," he tells Regina again with a stubborn smile. He is so very much her child.

* * *

Robin sees Regina next when he is again walking deep in the forest. She's sitting on a rock next to a stream that Robin didn't believe that anyone outside of he and Roland even knew about.

"We have to stop meeting like this," Robin says with a cheeky smile, sitting down next to Regina. Their hips brush against each other, and Regina struggles to reign in the storm of conflicting thoughts and feelings about the man suddenly beside her.

She takes too many deep breaths for Robin to be fooled that she isn't struggling terribly right now, but finally she feels that she can at the very least talk without him hearing tears in her voice. As if sensing that she's ready, Robin finally speaks. "There's something I've been wondering about." Robin shakes his head when Regina looks about to protest. "I won't ask about us until you're ready, I promise. No, I'm curious as to why a Queen spends so much time in the deep of the woods."

Regina laughs mirthlessly. "A question my mother was fond of asking herself." Robin waits of course, doesn't push, despite all the cryptic comments Regina has offered about her mother he has never pushed. "As a child I was expected to act like royalty. Even if my father would never inherit the throne, my mother insisted that I behave like a princess and that meant looking down on the servants, treating them as barely human, even though she herself was the daughter of a miller. It also meant never playing outside or running around and ruining dresses or my perfect hair styles."

"Why do I suspect that you were never one for following orders," Robin teases.

"No I wasn't," Regina replies, but Robin sees none of the mischievous glint in her eyes that he was expecting. "And my mother made certain to punish me accordingly."

There's such darkness in her eyes now, and Robin can't fight the desire to reach for her hand, grateful when Regina lets him.

"Her punishments were - let's just say the parenting books I read before adopting Henry never suggested any of my mother's methods. After she was finished, I just needed a place to be alone. The forest gave me that. So much vastness that I could lose myself there. Sometimes it was enough to help me forget everything else."

"It seems we have even more in common than I knew. I still come to the depths of the woods for the balance that the vastness of nature provides, and it would seem that you do as well."

Regina offers Robin a small, sad smile before removing her hand from his.

"I don't know everything about your past Regina, but I know you well enough to know that it wasn't easy for you to open yourself up to a relationship with me. I know you've been hurt deeply."

Regina bristles, and Robin reminds himself to tread lightly, that Regina does not have her walls down now as she has in his presence these last weeks.

"Don't feel sorry for me," Regina demands angrily. "I've hurt so many people, including your wife."

"Don't do this," Robin nearly begs. "I know who you were Regina. I knew when I decided to start a relationship with you, so don't insult me by thinking I'm going to run from you now."

"You should."

"I shouldn't, and I'm not. I'm here."

"That's the problem."

"I told you the other day that I was falling in love with you and that I can't bear not to be with you. Explain to me what the problem is."

"I'm doing this for you," Regina insists, though the back of her mind whispers that it isn't only for Robin's sake. "You're throwing your marriage away to give it a try with a woman you hardly know. Oh wait, you know that I murdered Marian. Well that's something."

"I'm not with Marian because I don't feel the way I used to about her. I will always care for her and we will always be in each other's lives because of Roland, but it seems that people in this world make that sort of thing work all the time." Robin smiles, but it hardly reaches his eyes, and there is no way for Regina to pretend that Robin isn't hurting at the idea of not being with Marian.

"And if I were to refuse to give into your delusion that what's between us compares to your love for your wife? What then? Would you still run from your family if I denied you now?"

"I can't turn my back on what I feel for you, even if you no longer will have me. I will still have feelings for you, and denying that isn't fair to anyone."

"I could make you a potion to help you forget."

"Don't you dare!" Robin says, his eyes burning when Regina looks at him. He calms himself before asking, "Do you really think that I would ever want to forget you?"

Regina says nothing, because it still shocks her when Henry tells her how grateful he is to have his memories again. The idea of people being grateful to have her in their lives is still new and she finds that she has yet to fully trust their words.

"I wouldn't be the man I am now without you. It has been so long since I've opened myself up to anyone but Roland. How could I ever want to forget the woman who made me feel again after so long?"

Regina is still silent, and she turns away from Robin, staring out at the water and looking so painfully conflicted. But she's still here and she's still listening, so Robin keeps trying. "Nothing in life is a guarantee," he tells Regina, his eyes fixed on her, even if she refuses to face him.

"You think I don't know that?"

"On the contrary. I think you know that too well. But you took a chance on us once before." Robin knows that Regina is regretting ever taking that chance, ever letting herself be hurt like this again. "There are always going to be challenges in life and we both know that opening your heart can bring pain. But I think we also know that it can bring joy. And right now, there are challenges, but we can be together and we can face them together."

Regina wants so badly to pull Robin to her and kiss him and believe again that she can have her happy ending, but the man she loves is married, and how long will it be until he goes back to his wife? How could Robin possibly choose her when the mother of his son, the woman he loves so dearly, is alive?

And as if to prove how well he knows her, Robin moves closer, his lips inches from hers as he whispers: "I want to be with you. I'm choosing you. Please don't give up on us."

Regina doesn't know if it's strength or weakness, but she hears herself sob, and then her lips are pressed to Robin's and it feels the same, he feels the same, like finding something that's been missing for so long, a missing piece, her _soulmate_. And she can't believe that this is happening, but his arms are so tight around her, like he's terrified that she'll run. But she doesn't. She stays and she kisses him.

* * *

_A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading and for commenting! I hope you're still enjoying the story. I'm planning to write more, because I find the relationship between Regina and Robin interesting and complicated, and the fact that they are deciding to give it a try feels much more like a beginning to me than an ending._


	4. Chapter 4

There's still so much turmoil in Regina's eyes when she and Robin finally pull apart. His hands linger on her cheeks, and the feel of her skin against his is intoxicating. But Robin can see how overwhelmed Regina is, and so he lets his hands fall to his lap, allowing her space if she needs it. She keeps staring at him, looking so frightened and disbelieving.

"Thank you Regina. Thank you."

Robin is staring at Regina with such earnestness and care and maybe more, and Regina's mind is screaming at her to run because he is still married and this is absurd and she doesn't know how this can possibly work. But Robin's here and he's looking at her like nothing else matters, and Regina will probably hate herself for this soon enough, but she stays.

"It's a lovely day for a hike through the woods," Regina suggests.

"Lead the way," Robin replies, his eyes lighting up and a smile stretching across his face, and Regina can't believe that smile is because of her, because he has a second chance with her.

For a few minutes they walk quietly, and Robin's head is whirling with everything that has so suddenly changed. He hadn't been certain that Regina would be willing to try, and he still isn't completely sure that she won't run again. And nothing will ever be as simple as it had been before, because Marian is back and Roland is still struggling with that adjustment. But then Regina reaches out, almost shyly, and interlaces her fingers with Robin's, and all Robin can feel is so very grateful that Regina is willing and able to open her heart to him again. He squeezes her hand in thanks.

"Tell me, what has it been like having Henry home?" Robin asks, because he has already missed so much, and because he knows that Regina won't be able to keep herself from smiling if she's talking about her son.

"It's been incredible. This is the first time he's stayed with me since the curse broke. At first I believed it was because he was afraid I would hurt someone after Marian returned. But I think that he's been looking for a reason to come home again," Regina says incredulously. "I think he really wants to be there."

"That shouldn't surprise you. You're his mother, and he's been through an an ordeal. Of course your boy wants to be with you."

Regina shakes her head. "The last time he wanted that was before he knew who I truly was."

"He's always known who you are Regina," Robin says, turning to look at Regina as they continue to walk. "You're his mother. Whatever else you've been, what you've always been to Henry is the mother who loves him more than anything. Did you know he gave me a stern talking to about treating you right? He told me that if I didn't I'd have him to answer to."

"Oh dear."

"His mother's child."

Regina laughs and shakes her head fondly. "I still remember when he was a baby with these big chubby cheeks, and he would look up at me with these wide eyes as if I was everything that he needed. And then he was this little toddler who was so scared of strangers and he would cry and cling to my neck when he wanted comfort. I promised that I'd never let him down, that I'd be worthy of the trust he placed in me."

"They give their trust so easily when they're young. It's quite different once they grow, so I would imagine that it's all the more special that Henry trusts you now."

Robin watches as Regina's face softens and she looks so young and open. Her eyes fill with tears. "I don't deserve him, but I think he wants to mend our relationship. He keeps looking at me like he did all those years ago. I never thought that he would forgive me."

"You've done right by your son. Henry's an amazing young man. Who do you think deserves credit for that?"

"I'm trying to do right by Henry. I'm trying so hard for him."

"I know, and he does too."

Regina wipes her cheeks, finding them unexpectedly wet.

After a moment of silence Robin squeezes Regina's hand. She turns to him, and he holds her eyes as he tells her, "However you want to do this is all right with me. As long you as you're willing to give me another chance, that's everything I can ask."

"What do you want?"

"The same thing I wanted a week ago. I know you don't believe that, but I hope that you'll give me the chance to prove it to you." Robin watches Regina, her lips are pressed together tightly, brow furrowed. "You're wondering how long this will last aren't you? You think that I'm going to change my mind and decide that I want to be with Marian?"

Regina considers denying this, but really there's no point lying to Robin. Somehow this man managed to understand her even in the Enchanted Forest when she had tried so hard not to let him in.

"This isn't a decision that I take lightly," Robin promises. "I wouldn't do that to you or to Marian."

Regina nods lightly, and though she believes that she is what Robin thinks he wants now, she can't help but wonder how long that will be true. But she doesn't push it any further though, simply wraps her arm around Robin's waist and continues their walk. He seems relieved to have permission to hold her, and he pulls Regina closer, pressing her into his side with an arm slung across her shoulder. He's grinning and pressing kisses to Regina's hair, and she tries to believe that he will stay.

* * *

Henry is still warming up when Regina makes it to the school soccer field. As soon as he sees her he jogs to her side. "Hi Mom."

"Hi sweetie. Are you ready for your game?" she asks, reaching into her purse and handing Henry a gatorade and a granola bar.

"Thanks Mom. I don't know. I got better at math last year. Soccer not so much."

"Well I think you're amazing."

Henry makes a show of an exaggerated eye roll, but he's smiling widely at Regina. "That's cause you're my Mom. You're biased."

"Of course I am, but I'm also right. Now go kick some butt out there," she tells him, making Henry almost snort with laughter before running back to finish warm up.

Regina can hardly stop grinning as she walks towards where Snow has left an empty lawn chair waiting for her. No matter how many times Regina hears Henry call her his mother, it doesn't stop amazing her.

"Hello Regina," Snow says, so happy to see Regina smiling. Neal coos from Snow's arms.

"Hi there, sweetie," Regina says, reaching out for the baby.

"Someone likes his Aunty Regina," Snow says. She observes Regina and Neal for a moment before asking. "Did something happen today? You seem…happy."

"That's because I'm a fool." Regina sighs and looks down at the baby in her arms, rubbing her fingers over his soft hair. "I let myself believe over and over, and I never seem to learn." She shakes her head at herself, and in response to Snow's inquiring glance tells her, "Robin asked for another chance."

"I guess his heart found its way back to its soulmate."

"Please don't start with your True Love talk Snow."

"You do remember who taught me about True Love don't you?" Snow watches a dark expression wash over Regina's face and then fade just as quickly. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have."

But Regina is smiling at Snow warmly, and it's an expression that Snow is finally getting used to seeing again. "I think we agreed that we were no longer going to be haunted by our pasts."

"Yes we did," Snow agrees, her eyes filling with tears, as she reaches out to place a hand on Regina's arm. "I'm so grateful for that Regina. I know that trying again with Robin won't be easy, but you have another chance at happiness with the person you love."

"Who said anything about love?" Regina bristles.

Snow just keeps smiling and squeezing Regina's arm. Regina can't quite explain to herself why she opens up to this infuriatingly optimistic woman. "I don't think I'm strong enough to lose him again. And I know how pathetic that sounds."

"It's not weakness to love someone." The words sit heavily between them for a moment.

"Isn't it? How is what I'm doing not selfish and weak?"

"It's not selfish because Robin wants to be with you. He was devastated without you, so I don't see how you can call it selfish to do something that makes someone you… care for happy."

"He'll figure out that I'm not worth it soon enough."

"You're wrong. I have known you a long time Regina, and I know that the people you care about are very lucky. You are capable of so much good and so much love. I know that letting Robin in again won't be easy for you, but I think you were happy with him."

"I was," Regina whispers. She wants so much just to be happy like that again.

"I can't imagine how much strength it will take for you to put your heart out there again, but I hope you do it, because I believe that you can be happy. And I want that for you so much."

"Thank you," Regina whispers to the woman whose happiness she spent so long trying to destroy. There is such forgiveness and love in Snow's eyes it takes Regina's breath away.

* * *

"Are you sure this isn't strange for you Henry?"

"It's awesome Mom!" Henry tells her, grabbing the silverware and plates.

"I know you've never seen me dating before, and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

Henry rolls his eyes. "As long as you aren't making out at the table I can handle it. Emma spent last year dating a guy who turned out to be a monkey. You and Robin are way less traumatic than that."

"I'm happy to hear that we meet your rather low standards dear."

Regina takes three glasses down from the cabinet and walks with Henry to the dining room.

"So how did you and Robin meet?"

"The first time we met back in the Enchanted Forest after Pan's curse, Robin helped me break into my castle together."

"Why were you breaking into your own castle?"

"Zelena was there," Regina tells Henry, letting herself think about her sister for the first time since watching that surveillance video.

"Mom?

"Hm?"

"I'm really sorry you lost your sister."

Regina looks at Henry, and she remembers a boy who had been so convinced that people were simply good and evil. She's so proud of the young man standing in front of her. "Thank you sweetheart." Regina pulls Henry against her side, squeezing him tightly to her and kissing his hair. She can't stop hugging him, can't stop wrapping a protective arm around him like she had when he was young. It's been a year - a terrible, painful year when she had struggled to live each day - since she's held him. "Have I mentioned yet how happy I am to have you home?"

"Oh you know, once or twice or a million gazillion times."

"Just checking," Regina says before pressing another kiss to the crown of her son's head and leading him back to the kitchen so they can finish preparing for dinner.

"Mom? I'm really really really happy too you know."

She believes him. Without thinking, without doubting, Regina finds that she believes Henry. She realizes it a second later, when she looks down at Henry and he's smiling at her. He's so tall and mature now, but he's still so much her little boy.

"That's all that matters to me Henry. I just want your happiness."

"I know Mom. I promise that I won't forget that even again, ok? And I want you to be happy too. It's awesome that you and Robin are back together. You deserve to have your happy ending.

"Henry," Regina cautions. "We're just dating. That's all."

Henry smirks a little at his mother. "Sure Mom."

"All right Mr. Know It All. Go get the vegetables out of the refrigerator and you can help me make the salad."

* * *

By the end of the night Regina doesn't know why she had ever worried about whether Henry and Robin would get along. Henry seems endlessly fascinated by hearing Robin's tales of his adventures, and dinner is easy and for long stretches Regina finds that she hardly worries about the entirely too complicated path she is embarking on with Robin.

After dessert Henry loudly announced that Hansel and Gretel have invited him for a sleepover before bolting up to his room to pack a bag.

"I know what you're doing," Regina tells Henry, sitting down on Henry's bed as he pulls an already packed backpack out from under his desk.

"What do you mean?" he asks innocently.

"You're not as good of a liar as you think. You had this little sleepover all planned ahead of time."

"Why would I do that?"

Regina raises an eyebrow at her son.

"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon. But don't worry I'll call before coming home. And I'll ring the bell instead of using my key."

"You don't have to do that Henry. This is your home."

"No offense Mom, cause it's awesome that you and Robin are together, but I just really don't ever want to risk walking in on the two of you."

Regina doesn't think that she has ever blushed as much as she is in this moment. "Henry!"

"I'm 14, and I'm not an idiot."

"You really don't need to go out tonight," Regina says, wanting desperately to change the subject. She can still feel her cheeks burning.

Henry picks up his backpack and grins at Regina. "I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun!"

Henry laughs at how horribly embarrassed his mom looks he walks out of his room.

"Are you really are going to be at Hansel and Gretel's house?" Regina asks as she follows Henry down the stairs. "If I call their father he won't tell me that he thought they were staying here tonight?"

"Come on Mom. Where do you even think we'd sneak out to go? It's not like there's a whole lot of places to go in Storybrooke."

"All right. Have a good time then. Try not to think up too many more clever plans please dear."

Henry rolls his eyes before waving at Robin. "Good night Robin."

"It was good seeing you Henry. Have fun with your friends."

"Bye."

The door closes and Regina buries her still red face in her hands. Robin walks over to where she seems practically frozen in place. "Why do I have the feeling that Henry set this up," Robin asks with a chuckle.

Regina looks up at Robin. "He told me that he didn't want to walk in on the two of us." At that Robin is in a full on laugh, which earns him a little smack from Regina. "It isn't funny!"

"It is a bit funny," Robin counters, wrapping his arms loosely around Regina's waist.

"How am I ever going to look my son in the eye again."

"Just wait until he's dating."

"Can we please not talk about that. Henry is far too young."

"As you wish. What do you want to do instead?" Robin asks, and it feels so good to have his arms around Regina again.

"Do you need to get home to Roland?"

"He's staying with Marian tonight."

At the mention of Marian's name, Robin feels Regina stiffen. "We should talk," she tells him, pulling out of his arms.

Robin follows Regina into the den where she pours them both a glass of cider before sitting stiffly on the couch. She looks too much like the woman he had known in the Enchanted Forest, and he longs for how easily she had let him in so very recently. He knows it's a risky move when he sits down next to Regina, and riskier still when he stretches his arm across the back of the couch behind her.

Robin waits for Regina to begin talking, but she just sits there without saying a word, so he begins speaking instead, hoping to find the words to calm her fears. "I'm sorry for how I've treated you these last weeks. I've hurt you, and that is the last thing that I ever wanted."

"I don't blame you."

"You should though," Robin insists, his arm moving to Regina's shoulders. She remains stiffly beside him but doesn't pull away. "You deserve better than that Regina."

"I very much doubt that," Regina tells Robin, and it makes his chest ache to hear her say those words.

"You're wrong. You deserve happiness, and I promise you that I will try my hardest to give you everything that you deserve." Robin watches Regina's eyes fill with tears. He leans forward slowly, giving Regina a chance to pull away if this is unwanted. And then their lips are presses together and Regina melts into Robin, her body finally relaxing against his as she leans deeper into the kiss.

"I'm going to help you believe. I promise you that," Robin tells Regina, as she pulls back, just slightly, her eyes still closed. "You will believe that you deserve to be happy. That you deserve to be loved." She doesn't say anything, but her hands are on his cheeks, fingers running over his skin, and when she opens her eyes he can still see the fear there.

"We will be ok Regina," Robin promises as his free hand finds her face, wiping away the wetness he finds there. "Together we will both be ok."

It hits Regina then, and she feels awful that it's taken her so long. Robin is hurting so much, and she's panicking and letting him reassure her. "I'm sorry," Regina whispers, swallowing back the remnants of her tears. "I'm sorry Robin. I can't imagine how hard this has been for you, and I shouldn't have to imagine. You should be able to talk to me. You can. If you feel that you are able to trust me, then I want you to tell me."

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't trust you." Robin feels Regina relax against him, and her arm comes to rest on his hip. She's rubbing soft circles, and he knows she means to comfort and soothe. She's so different, so capable of caring and nurturing, when she lets someone in.

Right now this is all Robin wants, Regina's arms around him and the feeling of her beating heart pressed close to his. Perhaps it's weak and he's simply running from the complicated path he knows still lies ahead, but now he doesn't want to talk at all, he just wants to be close to Regina.

Robin lays his head on Regina's shoulder, and her arms squeeze him tighter. He sighs in relief, nuzzling into her neck, trying to get closer somehow. "I just want to hold you now," Robin whispers against Regina's skin. "I need to be close to you. Please."

Regina hears Robin's voice break, as he half sobs the next words. "Thank you for giving me another chance. Thank you. Thank you."

"Shh," Regina whispers, rubbing circles on Robin's back. Had he truly been afraid to lose her? Had he missed her though he had been with his wife? It's so hard to believe, and yet Robin is here clinging to her like he can't bear to let her go.

"It's ok," Regina tells Robin, pressing a kiss to his temple. "We don't need to talk tonight. If you wish, we can go upstairs and I can hold you. You look like you could use a proper night's sleep."

Robin sits up slightly to look at Regina. "If you would be comfortable with it, I would very much like to spend the night with my arms around you."

Regina gives Robin a small, but oh so beautiful and genuine, smile. She laces their fingers together and leads him to her bedroom.

This feels so different than the frantic stumbling to Regina's bed in various states of undress that Robin is used to, but when Robin curls himself against Regina's side and rests his head on her chest, he knows that he will finally be able to sleep peacefully tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

Regina isn't certain when she finally fell asleep. The last thing she remembers it had been well past 1 am and she had been running her fingers mindlessly through Robin's hair while he slept peacefully, a small smile on his lips and his arms still wrapped around Regina's waist.

When she wakes there's a scream dying in her throat and memories pressing in on her. She feels a weight on her chest and a leg thrown over her own, and it is suffocating. She pushes and kicks against the body on top of hers. Her dreams chase her, Leopold, the weight of him, the sound of his moans ringing in her ear. She kicks and kicks at the leg flung across her and pushes against the arms, and it isn't until Robin is wide awake and whispering words she can hardly make sense of, that Regina finally realizes that the body on top of hers hadn't been Leopold.

Regina stares at Robin. She's blinking and blinking and trying to remind herself of where she is and who she's in bed with. Robin's voice becomes more clear to Regina; he's saying her name, telling her it's ok, that she's safe. Robin. Just Robin. And she is safe. His hand reaches out slowly and carefully so that he does't startle her, a gentle yet firm hand on her shoulder.

Suddenly Regina is perfectly aware of where she is and who's she's with. And it's too much. Far, far too much for him to see her like this. Without a word she climbs from the bed and walks into the bathroom, closing the door behind her and pressing her back up against it and breathing and breathing until her heart rate finally beings to slow.

Robin saw her like this, terrified and shaking - she thinks she might still be shaking, but she can't stop. It's been so long since she's dreamt of Leopold. Though Regina's dreams aren't peaceful, these vivid images of a husband she had never wanted on top of her haven't plagued her in years. She doesn't know what set it off tonight - whether it was simply the feel of another person's weight on top of her or something else, she doesn't know. But she knows that Robin had seen something that she never wanted him to see.

Regina bends over the sink, lets the water run and run, and she doesn't know how long she stands there. But by the time she leaves the bathroom she has managed to school her face back to a calm mask, and she feels finally able to deny any distress at all if Robin asks - when he asks - she knows he will.

She finds him sitting on the edge of the bed and he greets her with a smile, just a normal smile, and though she searches his face for pity, she finds nothing different in his expression from the one he normally wears when looking at her. "It's nearly dawn," Robin says, and these are far from the words Regina had been expecting. "Shall we make tea and watch the sun rise?"

Regina nods and leads the way from her bedroom down the stairs. Robin is beside her, so close, but not pushing, not asking. "Thank you," Regina tells him, because she doesn't know how to put into words that this is what she needs - his steady presence next to her - not overbearing but there.

Robin gives Regina a moment when they reach the kitchen, and he sets to busying himself making tea. When he finishes setting the kettle on the stove and placing tea bags into mugs, he turns and looks at Regina. She's leaning against the kitchen island watching him, and he walks to her and wraps an arm around her shoulders loosely, but then she welcomes the touch and moves closer, so he pulls his arm slightly tighter, pressing her body against his side.

Regina doesn't say anything, but she stays in Robin's arms, and so he thinks this must be what she wants, this closeness with him. He leans down and presses his forehead gently against hers, their faces inches apart, and she closes her eyes and breathes deeply.

He thinks of Marian - of her nightmares when he had rescued her before she was forced to marry the Sheriff of Nottingham, of the way she had melted against Robin and told him each detail of her dreams, the way sharing her fears with him had chased the shadows from her dreams - and he immediately feels guilty. Because Regina is in his arms, and he's thinking of Marian. And then, he feels so very guilty for being here and loving Regina when his wife is alive and frightened and stuck in a new land and a new time.

Robin shakes his head as if the action will clear his thoughts. It doesn't. The guilt lingers, and he wonders whether it will ever fully subside. He thinks that perhaps he doesn't deserve to be without guilt after leaving Marian.

But then Robin feels Regina suck in a shuddering breath and his thoughts focus on her once more and he pushes the guilt away. Regina is so different from Marian, slower to share her fears and vulnerabilities. Marian had been an open book, so innocent and young, and grateful to the man who saved her. But Robin knows that Regina struggles every time she shares more of herself with him; he knows what an incredible act of faith and trust it is for her. He knows that Regina would chide him for this, but it makes Robin feel incredibly protective of her. He looks down at Regina's face pressed against his chest, and he loves her so much for her strength in trying to let herself accept comfort even after she has been hurt time and time again.

Regina's hand snakes its way under Robin's t-shirt and she rests on the bare skin above his waist. She seems to just be soaking in his warmth and his presence, and he wraps both arms around her now and she presses closer. Tears fill Robin's eyes, and he knows that she trusts him and loves him, and even if she's afraid and she can't tell him these things, he knows, because Regina is here pressed against him after that dream.

He can guess at what the dream had been about, but it doesn't matter right now. All that matters is that it had shaken Regina, and she had pulled away at first, but she's come back to Robin, and she's taking comfort in him.

They stay like that until the kettle whistles and Regina pulls out of Robin's arms. She pours their tea and adds the four teaspoons of sugar that Robin likes (he will always smile at how Regina still scrunches up her nose in disgust at the idea of tea that sweet). She carries their cups and Robin picks up the picnic blanket that he had left by Regina'a back door weeks ago and they walk outside. The first hints of color are at the horizon and birds are chirping, and as Robin sets the blanket down on the grass Regina is smiling at him. He thinks that he could spend every morning like this.

"Can I ask you something?" Regina asks, sitting beside Robin and handing him his tea.

"Anything."

"I just don't understand why you're here," Regina says, looking down into her mug. "Your wife is alive."

"I won't lie to you and say this is easy. I loved Marian so much and losing her was the worst pain I have ever felt." Regina looks at Robin, opens her mouth to speak, but he cuts her off and continues. "I was a different man before Marian passed, and back then there was this incredible connection between us. Losing Marian and raising Roland have changed me in so many ways, and it's been clear to me that since her return that Marian kept searching in vain for the man she once had that connection with. I felt the same way. Even though she is the same woman I was married to, I simply don't feel the same way I once did."

"And you don't wish to try to find what you two once had again?"

"No I don't. And believe me I hate myself for that, because sometimes I think that I should try, even if it makes me unhappy."

Regina finally looks at Robin, and her eyes are shining but he can't quite make out what she's thinking.

"I don't know what I would have done if Marian had come back before I met you. Perhaps I would have tried harder or maybe I would't be the person I am today and things would be different."

"I'm sorry," Regina tells Robin. She wonders how many ways she can ruin her soulmate's life.

"Never be sorry for bringing light to my life. Being with you is my choice, and I take responsibility for the consequences of that decision." Robin looks at Regina, and she still looks so pained and unsure. He presses his palm to her cheek. "This is not something that I will change my mind about nor that I will regret. I want to be with you Regina."

Regina's lips are pressed to Robin an instant later and her arms are around him. He understands that she still doesn't believe him or trust that she could ever be good enough, and that kissing him is all she can do to respond now. So he answers her in kind, with the softest and gentlest of kisses, with his hands caressing her scalp and her cheeks. He tries to pour all the love he has for her into each touch, because she has to know. Somehow he must make her believe that she has his love.

"You deserve to have someone to hold you after your nightmares," Robin tells Regina, their faces still pressed so close to each other than he can feel her breath against him. She stiffens at this, but he continues. "You deserve to finally have someone that treasures you." He grins at her and presses a kiss to the tip of her nose. "Which I happen to."

Regina wants to tell Robin that she feels the same, but the words feel stuck in her throat. So she kisses him and holds him and hopes that he knows that she will never hurt him, that she will try with everything she has to take care of him like he deserves. No, the words don't come, but Regina knows. For the first time, she admits it to herself. She loves Robin.


	6. Chapter 6

Regina begins kissing Robin when the sky is light and the bright colors have faded to the blue of morning. His kisses in return are earnest and passionate, and Regina doesn't realize that she had been fearful until she breathes a sigh of relief when Robin wastes no time in letting his hands roam under the silk of her pajamas.

She had wondered whether things would be different after Marian's return. Or perhaps after her dream. If Regina is honest with herself, she had been so afraid that Robin would see her differently once he knew that particular demon. She had kicked at him last night and cried out at his touch, and maybe she had pleaded or said Leopold's name.

But Robin is touching her like he always does. Like he can't get enough of her. Like he wants her body and soul. This morning it is less frightening how intense his gaze is. This morning Regina blinks away the past and focuses on the way Robin's hands trail against her bare skin.

They're kissing on a blanket under the bright sun, and Regina thinks of Daniel, of stolen kisses on picnics and declarations of love on riding lessons. But then Robin is removing her pajama shirt and Regina remembers that she's far from that young girl. Robin sets to kissing the newly bare skin, and Regina feels so cherished by this wonderful, good man that she thinks that maybe the woman she is could deserve love and care.

And then his hands are moving lower and he is kissing her now bare legs like she is precious and beautiful, and Regina looks at this amazing man and thinks of nothing but him and how very much she feels for him.

* * *

Regina tries not to blush when Henry asks about her night with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"It was very nice," Regina tells Henry. "Tell me about your sleepover."

"It was fun. The closest I got to trouble was staying up late watching movies and eating junk food. And then I grabbed breakfast with Emma and Snow this morning. They say hello."

Regina reaches out for Henry's hand and takes it loosely in hers. "You know that it's all right with me if you stay with Emma sometimes don't you?"

"Yeah."

"I love having you here honey, but I don't want you to feel like you can't spend time with Emma."

"I don't," Henry says, and he hates that here are suddenly tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat. "You're my mom," he manages to say before a few tears start to fall down his cheeks.

"Oh honey, come here." Regina pulls Henry into her arms and wonders at the outburst. "Of course I'm your Mom." Regina kisses Henry's head and it hurts to say this, but she will do right by her son. "And I am so, so sorry that I tried to keep you from Emma. I was wrong and scared, and I will never do it again."

Henry moves back to look up at Regina. She wipes the tears from his cheeks and keeps his face cradled in her hands. "I'm happy that I found Emma. She's my birth mom," Henry starts nervously. The words shock Regina, because she's heard Henry call Emma _mom _and _his real mom_ but never has he identified her this way. "And she loves me."

"Of course she does sweetie," Regina tells him, overwhelmed by hearing what she knows had been an old fear of his. She had never let him express his feelings about being adopted or his desire to find the woman who gave birth to him. "Emma loves you so much, and I am sorry that I didn't understand why you wanted to meet her."

"It's ok Mom. And I'm sorry too. I said so many terrible things to you."

Henry's voice cracks and it kills Regina that she hadn't helped her son navigate his feelings about being adopted better. She runs her fingers along his cheeks. "Everything is forgiven. And I am so sorry for how much I've hurt you these last few years."

Henry shakes his head. "But you haven't. I kept pushing you away and saying you were evil, but that isn't true."

"I imagine it was a shock finding out who I was."

And then Henry is hiccuping and crying, and Regina can't quite figure out what set off these tears. Last night he had been occupied by his matchmaking and teasing. "Honey, can you tell me why you're crying?"

Henry shrugs his shoulders and says nothing. Regina waits a moment, her thumbs rubbing away a few stray tears, until he finally speaks. "I yelled at Emma this morning. She started talking about moving back to New York again. She never even asks me, just says that _we _might go back. And today I got really mad at her and told her that she isn't my mom and she doesn't even have any right to take me anywhere because she gave me away."

"What did Emma say?"

"She just got really quiet and told me that I was right. I apologized, because she looked so sad. But I'm still angry at her. I get why she put me up for adoption, and I'm happy she did because it means that you are my Mom," he adds with a smile at Regina that makes her feel like she might cry at how much love she feels for Henry. "But she acts like I'm her kid now all of a sudden. Like our memories from New York are real or something."

Regina runs a hand through Henry's hair. "I'd imagine that it's a lot for her to deal with having these memories of a happy life with you and knowing that she didn't really have that. Would you feel better if you went and talked to Emma?" Henry shakes his head. "Ok darling. What can we do that will make you feel better? I'm here to listen if you want."

"Brownies?"

Regina smiles and presses a kiss to his forehead. "I love you Henry. I have since the moment I first held you. Do you remember before the curse broke you told me that you wished that you had a large family."

Henry smiles at his mom. "You told me that one day I'd have more family than I knew what to do with."

"You have a large and complicated family, but you just remember that no matter what you decide you want your relationship with any other members of your family to be, I will always be your Mom. And I will always love you more than anything."

"I love you too."

* * *

Regina doesn't know what to expect when Marian asks to meet her to talk this afternoon. But if nothing else, Regina knows that owes at least this to a woman from whom she has taken so much.

"Gina!" Roland yells, barreling at Regina as she walks up to the playground where she is meeting Marian.

Regina stoops down so that Roland can run into her arms. "Hi sweetheart."

"I missed you," Roland tells Regina.

"I missed you too, and I am very excited that you and your Papa are coming over tonight."

"Me too," Roland says, pulling out of her hug and grabbing Regina's hand. "Come play with me."

He pulls Regina back to the playground where Marian is sitting on a bench next to the slide. There are dark circles under her eyes, and Regina wonders at the pang of guilt that stabs at her chest.

"Hello your Majesty," Marian says, a tight smile on her lips.

Roland giggles. "Mama, you're silly. Her name is Gina."

Regina smiles down at the little boy before looking back at Marian. "Roland is right. Please call me Regina."

"As you wish. I was hoping that we could talk for a few minutes. Roland do you think you can play by yourself briefly while I speak with Regina?"

"But I want to play with you both," Roland whines.

Regina crouches down to be eye level with Roland. "Give your Mama and me a few minutes to talk first and then your Mama will come play with you again, ok?"

"I want you to play with me too!"

"We'll see sweetie. I'll definitely see you later though, ok?"

"Ok," Roland agrees with a grin before running off to play.

"May I sit?" Regina asks.

"Of course," Marian replies. "I asked you here."

"Yes, I was surprised."

"Roland has told me many stories about you. I understand that you protected him in the Enchanted Forest, and that he lived in your castle."

"The forest wasn't safe with my sister's monkeys."

Marian wonders why Regina down plays her relationship with Roland. Is it possible that this woman who once laughed at Marian's pleas for help now is trying to spare her feelings? Marian shakes her head. "You read him bedtime stories. He asks if I can read in funny voices the way you do. He told me that you promised to keep him safe."

"I did, and I still do."

"Good," Marian says fiercely. "You tried to take my life once. And for that I will ask for no explanation or apology."

"There is no explanation for what I did, but I am truly sorry."

"I want you to do something for me," Marian says, daring Regina to refuse. She remains silent. "Take care of Roland."

"I already promised that I would. I know that you have every reason not to trust me, but I would never hurt your son."

"I am beginning to believe that. I don't know you here, but Robin and Snow seem convinced that you have changed a great deal."

Marian looks at the woman sitting beside her and she looks uncertain, like she too is hoping that this change is real.

"There's something that I haven't told anyone yet," Marian says, her eyes returning to watch Roland play. "And perhaps you'll think it strange that I choose to share this with you first, but I believe my reasons will become clear. When you captured me and sentenced me to death, you did not know that I already had that sentence on my head. When I was pregnant I became very ill and the healer told Robin that I would not make it through the pregnancy. He stole a wand from Rumpelstiltskin and used it to save my life. There's a saying that I imagine you are familiar with," Marian tells Regina, tearing her eyes away from Roland to look at Regina. "_All magic comes with a price. _I realized the cure was temporary not long after I gave birth. It seems that illness has followed me to this new land."

"Have you been to see Dr. Whale? Medicine in this land is very different from what the healers in the old world knew."

Marian nods solemnly. "He's the one who told me that I shouldn't expect to have more than a month."

"And have you spoken with Rumple?"

"No, I don't want anything more to do with magic."

"Let me do some research into this wand. It's too soon to give up hope."

"I was resigned to my fate before I found myself in your dungeons. That's why I put myself in such a position. I thought it better to die a martyr than to have Robin blame himself for not doing enough to heal me."

Regina's chest aches when she thinks of the guilt that Robin carried none the less. She thinks of his devastation at the possibility of losing Marian again. "Please allow me to try to help you. I know you don't trust magic, but let me investigate whether they may be a cure."

"That isn't the reason I'm telling you this."

"Regardless, I hope you will allow me to try to help."

"It won't do any good." Marian shakes her head sadly. "I didn't intend to seek out Robin and Roland in this land. I didn't know if they would be here, but I thought that it would be cruel to them to find them only to have them watch me die. Roland has never known me. You've been more of a mother to him than I have."

"That isn't true," Regina says, and then the woman who had once ordered Marian's execution is reaching out to take her hand. "From what I understand Roland was nearly six months old when he and Robin lost you."

"Yes, Robin keeps speaking of a different path than I recall. The last I remember Roland he had just turned four months old."

"And you would have me believe that four months was not enough time for you to fall in love with your son."

"Of course I love him," Marian tossed back in anger. "That's why I am sitting here and trying to ask you to be his mother."

"You are his mother, Marian. For four months you rocked him to sleep and took care of his every need. You made him feel safe and loved. Even if he didn't remember you when you first came here, you still helped make him the amazing boy he is."

"I believe that Robin deserves credit for that."

"You are Roland's mother, and no one can ever replace you in his life."

"I shouldn't have run to them in the diner. Now Roland will know me, and it will be worse when I leave him again."

"I don't believe that," Regina replies adamantly. "And it isn't time to give up yet. Let me speak to Rumple and work on a potion."

"I suppose that would be all right, but as to my request…"

"I will promise you this: whether you live or not, I will always love and protect your son."

"I've met your Henry, and he is a very kind, brave young man."

It catches Regina off guard to hear Marian call Henry hers and moreover to credit her for what a wonderful person he is. "Thank you," Regina whispers.

"I know that this is a lot to ask of you, but I am asking it not for myself but for Roland. He loves you, and I want to beg you for one final thing in this life. Please love him like he's your own."

"I promise," Regina tells Marian, squeezing her hand. "Now we need to discuss how to help you."

Marian looks at Regina, and it is so strange to see this woman's face full of compassion. "Life is very strange sometimes," Marian muses.

"Indeed. When do you plan to tell Robin?" Regina asks, and even after this conversation it feels dangerous to speak of Robin.

"I knew that telling you would mean I would need to tell him, but even though he doesn't love me anymore it still feels so difficult to tell him."

"Robin loves you and he always will. He will want to be here for you through whatever comes." Regina tries to swallow back the fear that this will push Robin away from her, that he will choose Marian after all. She can't think of that now.

* * *

Robin's cheeks are streaked with tears when he wraps his arms around Regina. She cradles his head to her chest and grasps him tightly, and Robin begins to sob. The sobs wrack his body, the force of the motion making Regina stagger and struggle to support his weight, until she simply can't and they fall together to the floor.

Robin sobs and sobs against her chest until she can feel the wetness soak through her blouse, and she presses her lips to his cheeks and lets the tears run against her face. Robin curls against her, pulling his knees into his chest as Regina holds him and rocks him. He clings to her desperately, because nothing makes sense right now except the strong solid weight of Regina's body

Regina struggles to hold back her own tears, because it hurts so very much to see Robin this way. There are no words to say, no way to soothe away his grief. Regina wishes for a way to take Robin's pain upon herself. She wants to spare him this so badly.

Robin grasps at Regina's blouse like he is terrified that she will disappear before his eyes. Regina rubs her hands across Robin's back and presses a kiss into his hair. "I'm here," she promises.

Regina holds Robin until his tears calm and he sniffles brokenly against her chest, still clutching at her like she is the only thing keeping him afloat.

"I understand if you want to go to Marian," Regina tells Robin with an aching heart.

"I don't think that I can survive this again without you."

"You have me as long as you want me Robin. But Marian is dying, and I fear that you will regret not spending all the time you can with her."

Robin is looking at Regina with pleading eyes, and she knows, though she can hardly believe it, that Robin can't imagine being without her now. "Where is Marian?" Regina asks, because Henry and Roland are upstairs playing video games, and Regina hadn't expected Robin to come back to quickly after talking with Marian.

"She's at home," he tells Regina. "I told her that I would stay longer if she desired, but she sent me away. She asked me to keep Roland for the night as we planned."

Regina's heart breaks at the thought of Marian alone, without her child, and likely facing the prospect of dying very soon. It hits too close to home for Regina; this had felt like her own fate not long ago. "Call and invite her to dinner at least. She needs you and Roland now."

The mention of his son's name is all it takes for Robin to begin crying again, and Regina wastes no time in wrapping him up in the safety of her arms. "How am I going to explain this to Roland?" Robin chokes out through his tears.

"You and Marian will do it together. And I will be here for whatever you need. I promised Marian and I promise you, I will take care of Roland. I'll take care of you both, I promise."


	7. Chapter 7

Illness sweeps through Marian's body far too quickly despite medicinal and magical attempts to save her life, and by the time that summer settles over Storybrooke, she is barely able to leave her bed. Marian resists at first, but ultimately allows Robin to stay in the small guest bedroom of the house she rented on the edge of the forest. She spent so many years deep in the woods that it felt strange to be far from them for what she had always known would be the final weeks of her life.

"It's beautiful here," Marian comments to Robin as they sit on her porch on a warm, sunny afternoon. "Not exactly like Sherwood, but still a good place to make your home."

Marian smiles at Robin sadly and he knows that she has given up hope completely. "Please Marian. Regina is still working on finding a cure." He thinks of how exhausted Regina had looked when he saw her yesterday, and he knows that she has barely slept since she promised to try to find a way to save Marian.

"It's ok. This time has been more than I expected to have. I was afraid of what would happen to you and Roland after I was gone, and it brings me comfort to know that you were happy before I returned and you will be again."

"Marian," Robin says with a sigh, wanting her to understand that moving on after her death had been no easy task. "I didn't believe that I would survive losing you."

"But you did, and though it brings me sadness that our time together is over, I am so happy that you found love again. I hate the idea of leaving you and Roland behind, but coming here allowed me to know that you were ok without me." Then Marian thinking of her little boy who has become sullen and angry, taken to fits of crying and tantrums in the middle of the night, and she can't stop the tears that come. "I hope I haven't hurt Roland with my return."

"He's a strong boy."

"You raised him well Robin."

"I did my best."

"He's amazing," Marian says, tears falling from her eyes. She had missed so much, will miss so much more. "It will never feel like enough time. No matter how long I have, it will never be enough."

"I'm so sorry I couldn't save you."

"You kept me alive long enough for Roland to be born. My death has always been the way of nature, and you must know that you bear no responsibility for it."

Robin shakes his head, and Marian knows that he never stop thinking that he failed her. Robin takes her hand in both of his. "I've missed you so much Marian."

Marian smiles reassuringly at Robin, her heart full of so many conflicting emotions. "You gave me a good life Robin and a beautiful son. Please just remember that I am grateful for what we had, and now it's time for you to be happy again."

* * *

Regina and Roland are half way back to Marian's from the ice cream shop when the little boy stills his movement. His hand is linked with Regina's and he pulls at her as she continues walking, dragging behind her until he finally pulls his hand away and sits down on the sidewalk.

Regina looks down at the little boy with the remnants of his chocolate ice cream around his lips and is overwhelmed by how very young he is. It is simply so unfair that this child should have to lose his mother so soon after she returned to his life.

Regina sits down on the ground next to Roland, earning her a few stares from passers by.

"I don't want to go," Roland tells Regina, kicking his feet at the grass next to the sidewalk.

"Come here, sweetie." Regina pats her lap and Roland climbs on and wraps his little arms around her. "Why don't you want to go home?" she asks, running her fingers through Roland's hair.

"I don't want to," Roland whines against Regina's chest.

Regina kisses Roland's cheek, hugging his tiny body to her.

His next words catch Regina off guard and break her heart. "Are you going to die too Gina?"

"No, Roland. I am not going anywhere, and I am going to help your Papa take care of you." Regina kisses the little boy again, and it is so hard to know what to say to make this better, because he's just so young and not able to tell her what he needs. "Your Mama wishes more than anything that she could stay with you Roland. She loves you so much."

"Is she going away because I've been a bad boy?"

"No Roland. You are a very good boy. Your Mama is very sick and her body isn't working right anymore. That isn't your fault in any way my darling." Roland doesn't say anything more, and Regina waits and snuggles the little boy to her. "Your Mama and your Papa and I, we all love you so much. And you are such a good boy Roland."

Regina has only known Roland as a joyful, adventurous, playful little boy, but he is so different now, so afraid and cautious as he clings to Regina. "Do you want to go see your Papa and Mama now?"

Roland nods but doesn't move from where he is cradled against Regina. "All right. You hold the ice cream for me, and I will hold you," she tells him, handing the bag with ice cream for Robin and Marian to Roland and hoisting him onto her hip.

Roland buries his face in Regina's shoulder, and she hopes that she will be able to keep her promise to Marian and help raise this precious child the way he deserves.

* * *

Regina's phone rings startling her from a fitful sleep. She had drifted off surrounded by her mother's magic books, still looking for a cure that she knew would not come.

"Robin?" she answers, her voice heavy still with sleep. The first thing she hears is tears and then her name sobbed out. "I'll be there in a minute," she promises as she jumps from the bed and runs into Henry's room.

"Henry," she whispers, shaking him gently. He mumbles unhappily at being woken in the middle of the night. "I need to go to Marian's. Will you be ok here alone?"

"Of course Mom. I can come if you need me though."

"That's all right, honey. You sleep. Call me if you need anything at all."

"I'm fine. I'm 14. Go."

Regina bends down to kiss her son's forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too," Henry tells Regina before watching her disappear in a flash of white light.

* * *

Regina appears next to Robin where he sits on the bed in Marian's guest room with his knees pulled up to his chest. He wastes no time in throwing his arms around her and pulling her body to his like a lifeline.

"I need you," he sobs. "I'm sorry Regina. I can't do this alone."

"Is Marian…"

"No, she's the same. I just wanted you, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Shh, don't be sorry. I want to be here for you Robin."

He takes the permission, though he feels so guilty for making Regina comfort him about Marian, and loses himself to sobs. Regina holds Robin close and it feels so good to have her here. He spends so much time trying to be strong for Marian and Roland, and he just wants to lose himself in the comfort of Regina's embrace.

She lets him. Regina shifts their bodies so that she is resting against the pillows with Robin lying in her arms, and she rubs his back and presses soft kisses to his temple. Robin relaxes into Regina's touch, slow, gentle circles on his back, the steady feeling of her chest rising and falling beneath him, her heart beat ringing in his ears.

"Regina," Robin half cries, feeling like he will lose himself if she isn't there to hold him up now. But she's there, her arms around him, strong and solid. She's touching him with so much love, and he marvels at how much love this woman is capable of. He turns his face to press soft kisses to the bare skin of Regina's neck.

Regina doesn't say anything, because there are no words she can think of to take away his pain at watching Marian grow ever weaker and watching Roland struggle more each day. Regina holds Robin's shaking body to hers, his cries ringing out in the dark of the night. She feels as much as hears the words he speaks with his lips still pressed against her neck: "I love you."

Robin freezes, realizing what he's just said. He had been trying so hard to wait until Regina was ready, to not frighten her away with his feelings. And now he's gone and said it in the middle of sobbing about the death of another woman. He braces himself for Regina's reaction, thinks she will be well justified in any reaction she has to this, because how could he have picked such an awful moment to tell her? He feels her breath hitch, and he looks up at Regina, unsure of what he will see in her eyes.

She's smiling at him with wet eyes and so much feeling for him, and she reaches out and cups his face between her palms. "I love you," she tells him as she runs her fingers along his skin and through his hair, leans down to kiss him gently.

Regina's mouth is on his, their bodies pressed together, and even though there is so much sadness and pain in this house, for this moment Robin feels surrounded by love and joy. Regina giggles and whispers to him again. "I love you."

Robin laughs too, because the day has been filled with Roland screaming and crying, and Marian becoming weaker by the hour, and Robin has been so overwhelmed by sorrow, but this is something beautiful and precious. "I love you so very much Regina," he tell her, thinks he will never tire of saying it or hearing her say it. "I didn't mean to blurt it out like that. I'm sorry. The first time I told you should have been romantic, and instead I'm crying about Marian, and you have been amazing and patient with me."

"That's because I love you," Regina tells him. The words are out now, and she feels so free. This is real, and it isn't easy and simple, but Robin loves her and she loves him. She doesn't need easy and she doesn't need a fairytale as long as she has Robin and he wants her, they can do this together.

It's a terrifying thought, because the last time Regina had believed like this she had been 17, in love with Daniel, and so certain that their love would prove stronger than her mother's magic. It's ridiculous, she thinks, the belief that love is enough, but Robin is looking at Regina like he can hardly believe that he has been given such a wonderful gift.

Robin holds Regina's face in his palms and it's overwhelming the feeling of her skin and the sight of her smile, and Robin thinks that even amongst so much pain there is so much light and goodness. "I love you," he tells her again. "It means everything to me that you're here Regina. You've been so understanding of the fact that Marian is important to me."

"Of course she is. She was your wife, and she's Roland's mother. I know that you will always love her."

"Thank you." Robin pulls Regina's hand to his chest. "Just don't forget that my heart belongs to you."

Regina nods at Robin, her eyes filled with tears. Her voice shakes with emotion when she speaks again. "Have you slept at all tonight?"

"No."

"Lie down and close your eyes. You need rest if you're going to keep taking care of Roland and Marian."

"You'll stay?"

"I'll stay," Regina promises, coaxing Robin to lie down. Robin's mind is spinning. He loves Regina so much and so desperately wants to do right by her, but there is so much that he can't control, so much that overwhelms his every waking moment now, so instead Regina is forced to take care of him. "What are you thinking?" she asks as she brushes soothing fingers through his hair.

Robin settles against Regina's chest. "I was thinking that you deserve better than this. You deserve a proper courtship." He looks up and sees it in Regina's eyes, still, always, the belief that she doesn't deserve his love at all. "One day I will convince you that you deserve all the love and happiness in the world and that I am truly the lucky one for being allowed to try to give that to you."

Regina is smiling tearfully at Robin, and he loves seeing the terribly romantic side of her, the one that melts at his romantic gestures and saccharine comments. "For now let me focus on helping you get through these next few weeks," Regina replies. A sadness falls over Robin with the realization that a few weeks is a generous estimate of Marian's life. Regina sees his expression change, knows immediately what he is thinking, and she leans down to kiss his forehead. "I'm sorry," she whispers.

"As am I."

Regina wants Robin to trust her, to open up to her even about this. "I won't be jealous Robin. I know this hurts. Nearly two years ago, Dr. Whale managed to bring Daniel back."

"He did what?"

"Daniel came back wrong though. He was a monster, and he was in so much pain. He begged me to make it stop."

Regina's voice cracks, and Robin reaches for her hand, cradling it to his chest. "Oh Regina."

"I killed him to take away his pain."

"I'm so sorry."

"It had been almost 50 years since I saw him last, and still losing Daniel again hurt so much."

Robin lifts Regina's hand to his lips and kisses her knuckles. "Thank you for telling me. And thank you for being here. I truly don't know how I would do this without you."

"You don't have to," Regina promises. She promises herself over and over to do right by Robin. She has hurt so many people, but at least she can do right by the people she loves. She promises herself that she will.

"I love you Regina," Robin says with a smile, reaching his free hand up to brush her hair back from her face.

"And I you."

Robin closes his eyes, breathes in Regina's scent, and tries to find enough peace here in her arms to sleep.

* * *

Waking up in Regina's embrace feels warm and safe, and Robin desperately wants to stay here cocooned in her arms. He immediately feels guilty for the thought because these moments with Marian are an unexpected gift, but it's also so exhausting and difficult.

"Good morning," Robin whispers. Regina is already awake and staring at him. "Did you sleep?" he asks her with concern.

Regina's fingers begin stroking his scalp. "Don't worry about me. Did you sleep well?" Robin wants to object to the way that Regina is ignoring her own needs, but the fingers in his hair feel too good to think of anything else. He hums and closes his eyes again. "I imagine that Roland will be awake soon," Regina tells Robin, causing him to crack open an eye and glance at the clock.

"10:30! I need to prepare breakfast before Roland and Marian wake and need me to tend to them."

"If it won't bother Marian, I can stay and make breakfast for you."

"You know it won't bother her. And I would love for you to stay. I know I shouldn't ask this of you, but as impossible as watching Marian die again feels, having you here helps."

"Then I'll be here."

* * *

"Good morning Regina," Marian says, weakly leaning against the doorway to the kitchen.

"You shouldn't be out of bed," Robin scolds.

Marian tries to protest, but her head is spinning and she slides herself down the wall so that she's sitting on the ground. Robin runs to her. "I'm fine Robin," she insists.

"You aren't fine."

Marian is about to continue arguing when she hears a little voice behind her. "Mama?"

"Hi Roland," she says, hating how weak her voice sounds. The little boy looks terribly afraid, and Marian wonders how bad she looks. "Robin," Marian pleads, needing Robin to take their son somewhere that he won't see her struggling to stand, to take a proper breath when her head is still spinning and her lungs feel tight.

Robin looks reluctant to leave Marian's side, so Regina steps forward. "Why don't you and Roland take a walk. I can help Marian wash up," Regina offers.

Marian nods her permission to Robin who stands, still reluctantly, and goes to his son. "Mama's ok my boy. What do you say that you and I go for a morning walk through the forest?" Roland doesn't say anything, just stares at Marian with fear as Robin swoops the boy up in his arms.

Regina kneels down next to Marian. "Can you stand?"

"I don't think so."

"I can use magic to transport us if you would like, or we can stay here until you're ready."

"Can we rest here for a few minutes?" Marian asks, hating feeling so weak and dependent, needing this woman to help her to the bathroom.

Regina waves her hand producing a small vial. "This will help with the pain," she tells Marian.

"How did you know? Does Robin -"

"You're a good actress. Not good enough to fool me, but good." Regina hands Marian the potion. "It isn't dangerous or dark magic."

Marian considers this for a moment, but the pain is so awful and she is losing her ability to do anything with her son so she drinks the potion. Though she still feels weak and sick, the pain is largely gone. "Thank you."

"I'm sorry I can't do more."

Marian finds herself almost startled by the honestly of Regina's words. It still feels like a shock that the same woman who taunted her and sentenced her to death is helping her now. But Marian finds that increasingly she trusts Regina. And as much as it hurts so much to realize that Robin has moved on, it provides some comfort to know that the man she loves will be well cared for.

"You'll take care of Robin won't you?" Marian asks, before she can think better of it. "He's stubborn and he won't always ask for help when he needs it."

"I will do my best," Regina promises Marian as much as herself. Regina loves Robin, and that acknowledgement to herself frightens her to no end. She may have learned how to love Henry better, but Regina still isn't sure she can trust herself to love Robin as well as he deserves. "Would you like to try to stand?"

Marian allows Regina to help her stand and guide her the short distance to the bathroom, and she hates terribly how difficult the walk is.

"Sit," Regina tells Marian, setting her on the closed toilet seat. "Should I run you a bath?" Regina asks.

"That would be wonderful. Thank you."

Regina begins the water running, adding lavender scented bubbled bath that appear in her hand from out of the ether. "Just bubble bath, I promise."

Marian just smiles at Regina, and Regina wonders at how anyone can trust her, especially this woman. Regina brings Marian a toothbrush and watches as the weakened woman seems to use all her strength on this task. There's such vulnerability that Marian shows her, and Regina cannot imagine being this open and weak with a near stranger. She hands Marian a glass of water and an empty cup to spit into. "Thank you Regina."

"It's nothing."

"You've offered me kindness. I have known many who wouldn't, so I don't take this for granted."

Regina waves the comment of with a flick of her wrist. "Your bath is almost ready. Do you think you can manage on your own?"

Marian shakes her head sadly, and Regina reaches out a comforting hand on Marian's forearm. Regina stares at her hand for a moment like it belongs to someone else. Even small acts of kindness or comfort feel strange to Regina. It feels like a different lifetime that she was a young woman whose instinct was a save a girl on a horse.

"Would you help me to the tub?"

"Of course," Regina says, "or I can find Robin if you prefer."

"No. He's with Roland. If it isn't any trouble I would appreciate your assistance."

Regina helps Marian transfer to sit on the side of the tub and then remove her clothes. Marian is overcome by the reminder of her body's deterioration as Regina helps lift her into the tub. Marian buries her face in her hands, unable to stop the tears or the rush of emotions and fears. "Do you think it's cruel," Marian asks, "that I'm forcing my son to watch me die?"

"I think that Roland will cherish the time that he has with you. Recently Henry has been thinking a lot about his childhood, and there are all these little moments, things that I never thought that he would remember, that he looks back on now and that make him feel loved. I know that even if Roland doesn't understand everything that's happening now, that when he's older he will remember how much love you showed him and be so grateful for this time."

"I hope you're right. I know this is hard for him. I can see how different he is from when I returned."

It's all terribly unfair and awful, and all Regina can think is how desperately she wants to be with Henry right now. She will go to him the moment that Robin returns, will hold Henry to her, and tell him that she loves him over and over until he reminds her that he's a teenager and that all this affection is embarrassing. But for now she stays and reminds Marian that Roland is a resilient little boy who adores his mother, all the while silently hoping that Roland will indeed make it through this all right.

* * *

Regina finds her need to see Henry so overwhelming that she decides that walking to Granny's will be too slow. Instead she appears in a flash of white light that still takes her by surprise in the alley behind the restaurant and hurries inside to find her son and Snow sitting together in a booth at the back. Regina slides into the booth next Henry, wraps her arm around him, and kisses him. "Hi sweetheart."

"Hey Mom, is everyone all right?"

"As much as they can be," she replies.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm much better now that I'm here with you." Regina pulls Henry closer, presses a kiss to his forehead. He giggles and smiles at her, and Regina can feel a little of the melancholy darkness of the morning slipping away. "Thank you for picking him up," Regina says to Snow, an arm still wrapped tightly around Henry.

"It wasn't a problem," Snow replies, though Regina is sure Snow already had her hands full with Neal. Regina had been uncertain about how Henry would react to her calling Emma right now, as he still seemed to be renegotiating his relationship with the woman who gave birth to him, and Regina was trying her best to let him work through that at his own pace.

"I can't believe you sent someone to check on me," Henry interjects incredulously.

"Sorry honey. What can I say, you got stuck with an overprotective mother."

Henry rolls his eyes. "It's ok I guess. Snow, Neal, and I had fun this morning."

"I'm glad," she tells him with a gentle squeeze of his arm. He smiles happily, and Regina still marvels that she is responsible for Henry's happiness.

* * *

"Are you really ok?" Snow asks Regina when Henry leaves the table to go to the bathroom.

"I just wish there was more I could do for all of them." Snow smiles that infuriating, knowing little smile. "What?"

"It's just so nice to have the woman I used to know back."

Regina laughs bitterly. "Don't fool yourself Snow. I've done far too much evil to ever be that girl again."

Snow reaches out for Regina's hand, and despite what Regina is certain is her better judgement, she allows the touch. Snow holds Regina's hand and tells her, "I think that it's time for you to let the past be the past. The people who care for you already have."

"It's not that simple."

"The best things never are." Snow grins at Regina. Regina's first instinct is to snap at the spoiled princess, because things have always been so easy for her. But Regina makes herself swallow back the old bitterness. "You have so many people who want you in their lives Regina, people who love you and are counting on you. You can't change the past, but you can change your future."

"How profound."

Snow just keeps smiling, though. She's known Regina far too long to be deterred by snakiness.

"You know Regina, all that the people who love you want from you is you. We just want you in our lives."

Regina looks at Snow and finds herself stunned speechless at the truth of these words. Henry, Snow, Robin, Marian, none of them have any business forgiving her. And yet they have. Regina allows herself to wonder fleetingly if she can forgive herself.


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note: Just a short little chapter full of Outlaw Queen and Regal Believer feels. Hope you enjoy it. As always, I would love to know what you think. All reviews are very much appreciated!_

* * *

Robin holds a sleeping Regina in his arms, unable to find any rest himself this night. Regina is joining him in Marian's guest room, not because it had been a bad day but because Henry is at Emma's tonight and Regina had been home alone. It had been Marian who insisted that Robin call Regina and tell her to stay over for the night, knowing that even on good days, Robin still struggled with a multitude of feelings that he refused to burden Marian with. So Marian made it clear that she has no desire for Robin and Regina to hide a relationship of which she is very much aware.

Regina had shown up with a pain relieving potion for Marian and an apple pie for all of them to share before bed. Though sharing a house with Robin, Marian, and Roland proved exceptionally odd, Regina decided it was really not all that much stranger than her weekly dinners with the Charmings.

Regina had tried to stay awake to talk to Robin once they settled into bed, but she had been exhausted and asleep in a few moments, leaving Robin to stare out the window lost in his thoughts.

He is pulled from his rumination by Regina's restlessness. It begins with her kicking him and the sound of soft, almost pained moans. Robin tries to calm her, rubbing her back and whispering to her. If anything this seems to make Regina more agitated.

"No, no, please. Please don't! Please Mother, no." The words, the panic, make Robin's chest ache. And then Regina is crying in her sleep, and he needs to wake her, needs to pull Regina from the dreams that are tormenting her.

"Regina! Regina!"

She bolts up. A dream. It had been a dream. Her mother's face fades. The cold dead faces of Henry and Robin fade too. Her mother's taunting voice, telling Regina that she deserves to be punished. She deserves to lose the people she loves. It's her fault, she's evil. She as good as killed them.

Regina lets out another sob, and Robin is beside her, so very close. Alive. He's alive.

"Regina, it's all right," he promises.

She blinks at Robin, her eyes wide and wet. Robin isn't sure if she's seeing him yet. She looks around the room frantically taking in her surroundings and then her eyes settle back on Robin. He smiles at her softly, but still fear settles over her face and she moves to leave the bed.

Robin reaches out for Regina's arm, only after he's taken it realizing how this might frighten her terribly. "I'm sorry!"

But Regina just stares at his hand and then back up to his eyes. And there is fear, but not fear that Robin will hurt her, and he feels grateful for that. "Regina," he whispers pleadingly, letting go of her arm. She looks so torn between running away again and staying. Robin stares at her and feels like he's watching her wage a silent war between the comfort that she obviously craves and everything she has ever learned. "Come here," Robin coaxes, seeing her eyes watering, staring at him so longingly. He reaches his arm out for her, and slowly, so slowly, looking so much like a wild, trapped animal that it startles Robin, Regina moves to him, sitting back against the pillow and letting him wrap an arm around her shoulders.

"You're safe with me," Robin promises and Regina manages a small nod, still getting used to the feeling of his arms. She looks uncomfortable, and Robin is fairly certain that is because of him. "What can I do?" he asks, hating the idea of causing her more pain. "You know that nothing will change how much I love you, don't you? There's nothing that you can tell me, nothing you can do to make me feel any differently about you. I know who you were in the past and who you are now, and I love you. I just want to be here for you."

"I know," Regina says, sounding frustrated, "It's just…"

"What?"

Regina shakes her head.

"You've held me while I've sobbed," Robin tells her. "You've seen me completely fall apart. Do you think less of me for it?"

Regina glares at Robin. "Of course not."

"Then why do you believe that I would think less of you?"

"I'm trying Robin," Regina says, new tears seeming to form in her eyes. "I'm really trying."

"Trying to do what?" Robin asks gently.

"I'm trying to fully be in this relationship and be a partner to you. I want that Robin, I promise I do." Is that fear, Robin wonders. Could she possibly believe that this would drive him away? "I just…I've never had it, and I don't know how."

Robin smiles so patiently, and Regina just doesn't understand how she deserves this, how he could think she is worth the trouble. "Then we'll figure it out together. I didn't mean to scare you Regina. I just hate to see you in pain, and if there's anything I can do to lessen your pain then I'll do it."

"I don't think I can talk about my dream right now," Regina apologizes.

"And you never have to if you would prefer not to. But if you want to talk then I am here to listen without judgment."

Regina studies Robin, his face full of understanding and love, and she still can hardly believe that she has him in her life. But she does. And maybe Snow had been right when she told Regina that others had forgiven her for the things that she struggles to forgive herself for. She's trying though, she's trying so hard, to let herself accept these gifts that she's been given. Regina leans over and kisses Robin. It's soft and tender, and Robin makes her feel so constantly cared for and loved. She just feels so loved with him.

"Can you tell me what you usually do after nightmares?" Robin asks. "Would you like to try to sleep or do you stay awake?"

"I generally can't fall asleep again, but I think…" Regina's cheeks flush at the words she's about to say. She feels like a ridiculous, weak child. She can hear her mother's voice mocking her. "I think with you here I'll be able to."

Robin smiles at first, looks so touched. But that look of fear is back on Regina's face, and he hates it so much. "Why does that frighten you so?"

Regina shakes her head, feels utterly ridiculous. How can she explain to Robin how terribly weak she is, how if she lets herself need him too much, she will shatter when she loses him.

"You can depend on me Regina, just as I depend on you." Robin's eyes bore into her, so much sincerity and love, and she's falling and falling, and she thinks she's so far gone already. She pushes the fear away and tells herself to be brave, to please, please not ruin something that is beautiful and makes her so happy.

"I'd like to try to sleep," Regina tells Robin, leaning her head on his shoulder and he takes the hint and slides down to lie flat with her. "I love you," Regina whispers. She needs Robin to know that her fear has nothing to do with him, but she needn't have worried because he's kissing her hair and telling her that he loves her so much.

Regina lies with her head pillowed on Robin's chest, and lets him wrap his arms around her. It's safety and love and these are things that Regina has always told herself that she was too strong to need from anyone else. But this feels so good, and she closes her eyes and tries to push her mother's voice from her head.

* * *

Henry is already home when Regina arrives with a bag containing two of Granny's chocolate chip muffins.

"Hi sweetie," Regina says, setting the bag down on the kitchen counter next to Henry. She presses a kiss to his forehead and marvels and how close her son is to her height now.

"I told you I was fine. You didn't have to come home," Henry tells Regina as he removes the muffins and hands one to her.

"Do you think I'm that easily fooled?" Regina asks, raising her eyebrow and tossing a piece of the pastry into her mouth.

"You should have stayed with Robin."

"He knows that you always come first to me, just as Roland does for him. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who didn't understand that you will always me my first priority. Now tell me what's wrong."

Henry shrugs and picks at his muffin for a minute. Everything feels wrong about last night. Every interaction with Emma felt wrong and he hadn't known how to change that. The first thing Henry manages to tell Regina is: "I don't want Emma to call herself my mother."

"Why's that?" Regina asks, trying to keep her voice neutral. "I thought that you considered her as such."

"Look, I get that it's my fault, but I don't know how to take it back. You're my Mom, and I want Emma to stop acting like she is."

"I didn't mean that it was your fault. I'm just wondering what's changed."

Henry looks at Regina, and finally he thinks he understands how wrong he had been for years, how much of what Dr. Hopper had said when he was in therapy was true. "When I thought that you didn't love me, I really needed to believe that Emma was my Mom. But I know that you love me now and you wouldn't ever leave me."

Regina wants to cry and apologize over and over for how badly she hurt Henry, but she knows that isn't what he needs now. "I'm so happy that you know how much I love you Henry, and that I will always be your Mom."

"Emma is so different from you."

Regina smiles at Henry, trying to be encouraging, trying to let him have Emma in his life, even though so much of Regina screams with joy that her son might be rejecting the other woman. "That's ok. I think there's more than one way to be a mother."

Henry shrugs. "Maybe, but there isn't more than one way to be mine."

A few tears slip down Regina's cheeks, because Henry is telling her that she is the only mother that he wants, and that means absolutely everything to her. "Oh Henry," she whispers, reaching out to cup his cheek. "I love you so much my little prince."

Suddenly Emma doesn't feel like a threat, doesn't feel like an enemy. She's just the woman who gave birth to Regina's son, and Regina needs to do what she hadn't been strong enough to do the first time Henry asked about his birth mother.

"Do you know what you do want your relationship with Emma to be? Because I know you love each other very much."

"I don't know. I guess she's more like a big sister or a cool aunt or something." Emma isn't any of those things, Henry knows. She's something far more complicated, but right now he just needs for her to stop acting like she has the right to be his mother. "I mean, I want to visit her sometimes, but this is my home. And I just want her to know that she doesn't get to make decisions for me. She tries to do that all the time, and I hate it."

"What kind of decisions?" Regina asks, cautiously. She better not hear one more story of Emma trying to take Henry out of Storybrooke, of Regina is going to have a very hard time acting civilly.

"Anything!" Henry exclaims, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated and unsure of how to make right of this situation. "I just want things to go back to how they used to be."

"Everything will be ok," Regina soothes. "Think of everything we've faced. We can handle this." Henry nods nervously, and Regina just smiles at him, wanting to ease his fears. "I want you to remember this conversation when we are fighting about your math homework not being done," she tells him with a grin.

"Moooom," Henry whines.

"Music to my ears," Regina says, leaning over and kissing Henry.

"Would you like me to talk to Emma?" Regina asks.

"Are you two going to fight?"

"No Henry. We are going to do what we should have years ago and have a civil conversation about what you need."

"So you'd tell her that I can see her for dinner or maybe stay over once a week?"

"If that's what you want."

"I think so. I know that I want to live here with you."

Regina's beaming at Henry, so happy that he wants to be with her, and so full of love. And Henry can't believe that he once thought that she didn't love him, because it is so clear to him now that his mom loves him more than anything and would do anything for him.

"Ok, I'll call Emma and we will find a time to sit down and talk."

"Maybe you can call her later, so you can give me a little more time to think. It's just that I told her that I was looking for an apartment for us, and it's kind of my fault that she expects me to live there."

"Emma will understand that you've changed your mind," Regina reassures him.

"It's not changing my mind exactly. I kind of…well…I kind of lied about what I wanted."

"Why?"

"I wanted Emma to stay in Storybrooke, and I thought that maybe she would stay if she thought I needed her. I don't want her to leave me again." Henry doesn't realize the words until they're out of his mouth and his mother is looking at him with so much sadness.

"Henry," she sighs. "I wish I could make that promise for Emma."

"I know Mom. It's ok."

"It's not sweetheart. I wish I could make everything better for you Henry."

Henry wraps his arms around Regina, and relishes in the way she hold him tightly and rubs his back, just as she has since he was small. "I love you Mom."

"I love you too Henry."

"I know you do," he says, pulling back a bit to grin at Regina. That smile and that certainty, no matter what else Regina has done in her life, she thinks she has done something right with Henry. It matters more than anything else ever will.


	9. Chapter 9

Marian knows her time is near when she wakes up in the middle of the night gasping for breath. Robin goes to her and holds her, calls Regina immediately to look after a terrified Roland, and Dr. Whale in hopes there is something, anything that he can do.

Regina arrives first by virtue of her magic and finds a terrified Marian, sitting up in bed and gasping desperately. Robin is beside her looking distraught and calling to Roland who is huddled in the corner of the room. Regina picks Roland up and he immediately buried his face in her neck and clings to her. "Do you want me to take him outside?" she asks. Marian nods frantically and Robin manages a pained nod as well.

Regina sits on the front porch of Marian's house with Roland in her arms. She rocks the boy gently, staring out into the dark night sky, and singing lullabies she remembers from when Henry was just a baby.

Henry smiles warmly at the familiar song as he walks up the path to Marian's home. "Henry!" Regina yells, "What are you doing walking here alone? It's 2 in the morning!"

"Come on Mom. We're in Storybrooke."

"Precisely. Just in the last two year this town has played host to flying monkeys and Peter Pan."

"Yeah," Henry says, "but now everyone knows that my Mom is a total badass. No one's going to mess with me again."

Regina shakes her head, finding it harder and harder by the minute to stay mad. "Did you really think that was going to get you off the hook?"

"Looks like it already has," Henry tells Regina with a grin.

"We'll talk about this later. Come here," Regina tells him, giving up any pretense of anger. Henry sits next to Regina, and she wraps one arm around him, the other continuing to hold Roland tightly against her.

"Hey Roland," Henry says, but the little boy doesn't respond, just nuzzles closer to Regina, who keeps rubbing circles on his back.

Regina smiles at Henry and presses a kiss to his forehead and together they wait for Dr. Whale and a miracle that everyone knows will never come.

* * *

Dr. Whale gives Regina a solemn look as he exits the house a half hour later. "She doesn't have much time. The boy should see her now."

Roland must understand more than he expresses because at Dr. Whale's words, he's clinging harder to Regina and she can feel his little eyes squeeze firmly shut against her neck. "Come on sweetie," she says, standing up with Roland in her arms. She kisses his hair and rubs his back and wishes she could make what comes next easier for him.

The door to Marian's bedroom is open, and she looks much more comfortable than when Regina last saw her. Marian motions for Regina to enter the room. "The drugs in this world are magical," Marian tries to joke, but her voice sounds weak and she gasps for breath between words. Beside her Robin has tears streaming down his cheeks.

Regina sits down on the edge of the bed, Roland still clinging to her terrified. "Sweetie, your Mama wants to give you a hug," she says, rubbing his back.

"Roland," Marian says, reaching out to touch her son. He peeks up from Regina's arms and Marian smiles at him. "It's all right baby." The little boy studies his mother cautiously, frightened of how she had appeared earlier that night, but she smiles at him and reaches for him, and Regina presses Roland into Marian's arms, and he lays on her chest, hugging her tightly.

"I'll be right outside," Regina says, smiling sadly.

Marian reaches out and grabs Regina's hand, squeezing tightly and pulling Regina towards her. Marian smiles at Regina, a few tears falling down her cheeks, and Regina smiles back, becoming tearful herself at the trust and forgiveness she sees in Marian's eyes. Regina nods lightly, a silent promise to Marian to protect those that they both love dearly. They sniffle and smile at each other, understanding passing between them, as Regina lets go of Marian's hand to allow her time alone with her family.

Robin looks up at Regina, eyes full of pain. "Thank you Regina," he whispers in a voice scratchy and thick from tears.

Regina looks at Robin, hopes he can see the love in her eyes, and says again, "I'll be outside." She hopes he understands that she means that she will be waiting for him, for whatever he needs, whenever he needs her.

Henry runs up the Regina the moment she walks onto the porch and throws his arms around her. "I love you Mom," he tells her a little desperately. She could have died so many times this last year and he never would have known what he lost. She could have died without knowing that he loves her more than anything. Henry promises himself that he will never let that happen.

"I love you too honey," Regina tells him, hugging him to her tightly. "I love you so much."

* * *

Robin and Roland scatter Marian's ashes in the woods two days after her passing. They spend a few moments in the silence of nature, but Roland is not a babe as he was the last time Robin did this, and the child is bored with the stillness quickly.

They return to their camp and Robin lets Roland go off and play with Friar Tuck. Though it's the middle of the day and the sun is shining brightly, Robin crawls into his tent, wishing to sleep until the sadness dulls. Inside the tent he finds a plate of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies and smiles. They're his favorite and he doesn't need to read the note to know that Regina has left them for him. Robin's crying, staring at a plate of cookies and sobbing, and it's the simple kindness of the gesture, the reminder that Regina is thinking of him, that sets him over the edge.

Robin had asked Regina for time alone after Marian's death, and she had given him that without question. He looks at her note, _Thinking of you and Roland today. If I can do anything simply let me know. _

The pain inside Robin feels destructive, and he doesn't want Regina near that, doesn't want her to see him in such a dark place. But he thinks that she of all people might be able to understand the dark places that grief can take people, that she might be able to keep him from the awful selfish path that he fell down the last time he lost Marian.

He almost picks up his phone and calls her, almost, but it's a comfort he doesn't deserve, and so he shoves his phone back into his pocket. Roland is safe with Tuck, and Robin thinks that's for the best because he's in no state for Roland to see. It's best to be alone now, he thinks. It's what he deserves.

* * *

Robin shows up on Regina's doorstep hours later, drunk and stumbling, his hands bloodied. Regina wraps a steadying arm around Robin and leads him inside without a word. She sits them on the couch, and takes his bruised and bloody hands in her own. Robin can't meet Regina's eyes, so he looks down at their hands and for the first time notices that his are swollen and crooked and wonders whether he managed to break anything.

"Can I heal them?" Regina asks, her fingers sweeping gently across Robin's. He looks up at her, afraid to see pity or disapproval, but he finds neither. He nods, feeling embarrassed by what he's done. He feels the pain dissipate as his bones and skin mend, and he feels warmth flowing through him, feels Regina so keenly, as if she is wrapped around him, holding him in her embrace, protecting him, soothing him, loving him so fiercely.

Robin hears Regina gasp and pull back suddenly. "I'm sorry," she whispers.

"What for?"

"I didn't mean to force a connection like that."

"Was that what happened?"

"I'm sorry," she repeats, and Robin is unsure of why she is so apologetic. "I lost control of my magic. I would have asked before touching your heart that way."

"Ah," Robin says, his inebriated mind still trying to make sense of what Regina is telling him. "So what I felt…"

"Yes."

"And you felt me?"

Regina nods, looking suddenly sad and deeply troubled.

Robin takes that in; he had never meant for Regina to see him like this, no less feel so deeply what he was feeling.

"Where's Roland," Regina asks a moment later, when it seems that Robin wishes to speak no more of what has happened.

"With Friar Tuck."

"Are you staying the night?"

"If I'm welcome."

"You're always welcome here Robin. You and Roland both. Come on. We can talk in the morning. You should get some sleep."

Regina helps Robin walk up to her bedroom, pulls back her bedcovers, and tucks him in just as she would Henry.

"You aren't staying?" Robin asks, knowing how pathetic he sounds. He simply wants Regina next to him so badly. For two days he had avoided her, but he's here now and she's so close, and he wants the comfort of her touch back.

"I'm going to check on Henry and bring you some water and aspirin, then I'll be back."

By the time Regina returns, Robin is already asleep.

* * *

Robin wakes up with little surprise to find his head pounding. The sun shining in through the window is too bright, and nearly every part of him aches. But Regina is beside him, and after the mess he knows he was last night, he finds himself more than a bit relieved for that. She's sitting up in bed with a book in her hands, still apparently unaware that Robin's awake.

"Good morning," Robin says, rolling towards Regina.

"You're awake."

"Mmm, what time is it?"

"Nearly nine. How are you feeling?"

"I've been better," Robin says, painfully pulling himself up to sit next to Regina. "I'm sorry about last night."

"Don't be," she tells him, putting her book down on the bedside table.

"I should never have come here. I wasn't going to, but 8 drinks later…"

"Do you wish that you had been elsewhere?" Regina asks

"No, but I didn't want you to see that man."

Regina smiles at Robin, and he finds that it warms him much the same way her magic had last night. "I'm the Evil Queen remember? I can handle you not at your best. After all, you put up with a whole year of my abuse in the Enchanted Forest."

"Abuse was it? Here I was thinking that was you flirting with me."

Regina chuckles before becoming serious once more. "The sentiment remains, I understand anger and pain, and I won't be frightened away by it."

Robin shakes his head and hates himself for even considering this offer. He maybe a thief, but he is a gentleman and this is not what he should show to any woman, especially not the woman he loves. The first time Marian died, he had pulled away from everyone, but of course his men had seen, they had cared for Roland when Robin had been too drunk or too self-destructive.

"I left Roland last night," Robin says, and Regina can see the self-loathing in his eyes.

"You knew you weren't what was best for him at that moment, and you left him somewhere safe. You did the best you could to survive the night." Regina reaches out to run her fingers through Robin's hair. "Once you take a shower and drink some coffee, you'll go to Roland."

"I hate myself so much right now Regina. And I don't want that anywhere near you or Roland, but I don't know how to stop feeling this way."

"Roland needs you. You are an incredible father, and I know that even when you're hurting you put Roland first. As for me, I can love you enough for the both of us until you remember what a good man you are."

Regina leans in and kisses Robin gently. He's spent so much time quelling her fears, helping her to accept love, and she feels like it's a privilege to be able to help him when he requires it.

Robin stares at Regina, searching her eyes, and she isn't certain what he's looking for, but he's tearful and smiling a tiny sad smile at her. His hands wind their way through her hair and around her waist and he seems to accept what she's offering him.

"I'm not going anywhere Robin." She takes a moment to hold him in her arms before asking, "Are you ready to get out of bed?" Robin nods, looks sad to leave the comfort of Regina's arms, and she still finds it nearly impossible to believe that he feels that way about her. "Henry and I were planning to go to the beach today. You and Roland could join us."

"We wouldn't be intruding?"

"Not at all," Regina tells Robin, her arms still wrapped around him. "Come on, let's get you showered so that you don't smell like a brewery when you fetch Roland."

"Better or worse than forest?" Robin asks, a small smile lighting up his face.

Regina chuckles. "Much worse."

"That's because you've always secretly loved the scent of the forest."

Regina smiles at Robin, can hardly believe how happy this man makes her. "I can learn to live with it."

"Glad to hear it."

* * *

"Woah there Mister," Regina says, stopping Roland at the back door. "Sandy shoes stay outside of the house."

"Sorry Gina," Roland says, sitting down on the deck to take off his sandals.

"That's ok. You didn't know. Henry's known the rules his whole life and he still forgets half the time."

"If I remind Henry when I remember and he reminds me when he remembers, then we won't forget anymore."

Regina smiles at Roland. "That sounds like a plan," she tells him with a little bop on his nose. 'Why don't you go with your Papa and take a bath."

"Come along my boy," Robin says, lifting his sandy son onto his hip.

"Gina, will you come help me take a bath too?"

Regina turns to Robin, who smiles at her with a nod. She turns to Roland and tells him, "Of course I will. I bet we can find some of Henry's old bath toys for you to play with too."

* * *

"Thank you Regina," Robin whispers so as not to wake Roland. He's just fallen asleep after Regina read him three books.

It's nap time, and they're all curled together on the bed in Regina's guest bedroom. Roland had cuddled against Regina's side as soon as she slid into bed with him, and Robin feels as if his heart might burst with love for the both of them.

"You don't have to thank me. I adore Roland."

"And he obviously adores you," Robin tells Regina. "I think…I think he's afraid of losing you too, after Marian."

"Roland will be all right, Robin. He's a strong boy, and you are an incredible father."

"Not so incredible last night when I was passing out drunk in your bed."

"You are still a wonderful father, just one that is grieving for your wife."

"It's not as simple as that," Robin argues.

"I know," Regina replies, leaning in towards Robin and resting her forehead against his.

His nose brushes against hers, and his eyes flutter closed, and it feels good to be so close. "Thank you," Robin whispers, letting himself be soothed by the feeling of Regina's skin and the sound of Roland's soft snores.

* * *

There's a lingering unease when Regina walks into her house that her son will be gone, the mansion empty and cold. So when she closes the door behind her after saying goodnight to Robin and Roland and finds Henry grinning at her and holding a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and two spoons in his hand, she can't stop herself from laughing and smiling with absolute joy.

"Dessert on the couch while we watch X-Men?" Henry suggests, wiggling the ice cream at Regina.

"Where are the bowls?"

"Why do we need those? You know there won't be any ice cream left over."

"We need bowls," Regina says, snatching the pint from Henry's hand and heading for the kitchen, "so that we can add chocolate sauce, sprinkles, and whipped cream."

"I guess you have a point," Henry agrees, following his mom into the kitchen and setting himself to retrieving ice cream toppings.

"I knew you would see it my way," Regina tells Henry, bopping her shoulder against Henry's playfully.

They divide the ice cream between the two of them, drowning it in fudge and sprinkles. Henry liberally tops both bowls with whipped cream before squirting some in his mouth, glancing over at Regina to see if she'll yell at him for the lack of manners. But she's just grinning at him. "Want a squirt?"

"Don't push your luck," Regina tells him, putting away ingredients and tidying up the counter.

She comes back to stand next to her son, tells him sincerely, "Thank you for being so good with Roland. I appreciate it, and I know Robin does too."

Henry shrugs. "I always kind of wanted a little brother."

"Henry!"

"What? We're totally going to be a family."

"Henry, that's not…Robin and I are still figuring things out between us."

"Come on Mom. He's your soulmate."

"It's not always that simple."

Henry smiles at Regina doesn't believe her at all. "Fine. I'll drop it. All I'm saying is that if you wanted us all to be a family that would be awesome."

"Thank you honey. You know I would never bring someone into our family if you weren't all right with that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know."

"You always come first. No matter what."

"I know that too," Henry says, smiling and looking so happy and carefree. "We're a great family just the two of us. But I really like Roland and Robin, and I think the four together could be pretty awesome."

Regina shakes her head, overwhelmed by her son, by how far they've come. She grabs Henry and pulls him to her so that she can press a big kiss to his forehead with an exaggerated "Mwah!"

Henry laughs and leans into Regina's side. She's still getting used to the affection he's so craved since getting his memories back, and it fills her with so much joy to hug and kiss her son and tell him over and over how much she loves him. They've missed too much time already, and she can't miss a second more showing Henry how much she loves him.

"Come on Mom," Henry says handing his mom her bowl. "Our ice cream is going to melt, and we have a movie that needs to be watched."

* * *

It's Henry who insists that they need to visit Robin and Roland for July 4th. Regina discourages it at first. It's not exactly a holiday they celebrate, and it's still so soon after Marian's death that she isn't certain whether Robin will feel like a celebration of any sort. But Henry insists and promises that if Robin and Roland want to be alone then Henry and Regina can just go home and eat all the marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers themselves.

It doesn't come to that.

Roland is enamored with Henry and follows the older boy like a shadow while he explains how to make the perfect s'more. Roland hangs on every word of Henry's instructions, all the while shoving extra uncooked marshmallows into his mouth.

Regina and Robin sit together on a log by the fire, watching their boys. Robin is so very quiet, and Regina tries not to feel that he's rejecting her, that he's regretting his decision to choose her, that he wishes that she were the one he'd lost and that Marian were sitting beside him.

Through his grief Robin still feels himself keenly aware of Regina. He sees her unease as she sits beside him. She doesn't reach for him in comfort as she normally would, doesn't lean into him, hardly touches him at all.

"Is something wrong Regina?"

She shakes herself from her thoughts. "No, I'm just thinking."

"Regina," he repeats, hoping desperately for her not to close herself off from him.

"I wasn't certain whether you wanted company. I don't want to push myself on you if you need time away from me right now."

Robin sighs and buries his face in his hands for a long moment. He can practically feel Regina's tension, knows she's terrified, about to run. He looks up at her then, as he scrubs his hands across his tired eyes.

"I love you more each moment I spend with you," Robin tells her, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice that he has to work so hard to convince her of this. She's staring at him with the familiar fear, and Robin wonders whether he will ever erase that expression from her face completely. "I'm happy when I'm with you, and it feels wrong to be this happy so soon after Marian's death."

"I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault Regina," Robin tells her, and now she feels awful because he's comforting her, and it's all so wrong, because he just lost his wife and this should be the least of his concerns. Regina swallows back her fears. This isn't about her, she reminds herself. He isn't rejecting her.

Robin wraps his arms around Regina and pulls her into his chest, and she curls against him, her hand pressed over his head. She asks for no further explanation, just leans on Robin, and he feels so close to her. He runs his fingers through her hair and whispers to her over the shrieks of their sons' laughter, "Falling in love with you healed a part of me that I didn't know needed healing."

Robin hears Regina's breath hitch. She doesn't say anything, and he wonders, he hopes that maybe Regina shares the sentiment. He hopes that he is able to heal some of the pain that he knows Regina has carried her whole life.

Robin runs his hands through Regina's hair, over her back, down her arms. She's here with him, and he loves her, and he needs to tell her so badly what he's feeling. He's become accustomed to not being along, to having someone to confide in since Regina came into his life. "Marian told me everyday for the last week of her life that she wanted me to be happy, and that I shouldn't waste anymore time mourning her, but I feel so guilty Regina. I feel like she died thinking that I didn't love her."

"She knew you loved her," Regina says, looking up at Robin.

"You spoke of it with her?"

Regina nods. "Your wife was a very good woman who loved you and Roland more than anything." Regina still feels hardly able to believe that Robin would want someone like her after loving someone as kind and noble as Marian. Regina knows that it hurt Marian to see her husband with another woman, but that at the same time she had also been grateful that Robin had moved on with his life. "I know that Marian wanted nothing more than happiness for you and Roland."

A broken sob escapes Robin and he presses his fist to his mouth to stop the tears. But Roland has already seen his father's tears. "Papa?"

Roland cautiously walks to Robin. "It's ok my boy," Robin says, reaching for Roland and pulling him into his lap. "Everything's going to be all right."

Regina's arm is wrapped around Robin still and Roland snuggles closer to her from his father's lap, and Regina thinks of the promise that she made to Marian. Henry joins them, sitting on the log next to Regina, her other arm coming to wrap around him and pull him close. She feels it then, knows that Henry had been right. She wants nothing more than for this to be her family.


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note: Sorry that it's been so long since I've updated; work has been keeping me busy. I hope you enjoy the chapter, and I would love to know what you think._

_Trigger warning for a discussion of marital rape and child abuse in this chapter. _

_Thanks for reading!_

* * *

Regina wakes to the feeling of someone jumping into bed with her. She groans and pulls the blanket over her head. She hears Henry's insistent voice a second later. "What are you doing?" he asks as he pulls the blankets off of his mother's head and makes himself comfortable next to her. "Saturday morning cartoons. It's tradition."

It's been almost five years since the last time Henry climbed into bed with Regina to watch cartoons, and he can see the surprise on her face as he reaches over her to grab the remote control.

Henry feels his stomach flutter with nervousness, wondering whether it can be this easy to go back to what he had before he had spent years pushing his mother away. But then his mom's arm is around him, squeezing him to her side. "Come here my little prince."

Henry sighs with contentment when Regina presses a kiss to his temple, and he snuggles against her. She's smiling at him, and Henry feels warm and safe. So much has changed, but this feels like it did before the curse broke and they had spent every Saturday morning like this.

Henry thinks that it's almost like his mom knows what he's thinking, how much he needs to feel like they can go back to what they once had, because her arms tighten around him and she's kissing him again and looking at him like she always does, with more love than Henry can fully comprehend. So he settles against her with a smile and feels the worry slip away from him.

"What are we watching?" Regina asks while Henry begins flipping through the channels.

"_Spongebob_."

"Is that really still on TV?"

Henry looks appalled. "Wait, when's the last time you watched cartoons?"

Regina quirks an eyebrow at her son, amused that he apparently thought that she would be watching cartoons on her own.

"We are going to have to watch all morning," Henry tells his mom seriously. "You have a lot of lost time to make up for."

Henry grows quiet as the weight of his words settle over them. Regina rubs his arm soothingly and promises, "We have all the time in the world sweetheart." He smiles at her and leans his head on her shoulder. "I say we pace ourselves. An hour of cartoons, then maybe a break for pancakes?"

"Maybe two hours."

"If you say so, but I bet your stomach will be growling before the first episode is done."

* * *

"Thank you Ruby," Regina says when the waitress places a plate of apple pancakes in front of her.

A large plate of chocolate chip pancakes lands in front of Henry next. "Thanks Ruby."

"Sure thing," the woman says before walking off.

Henry is immediately smothering his pancakes in syrup and shoving a huge bite into his mouth. "I forgot how good Granny's pancakes are," he says around a full mouth. He washes it down with a gulp of orange juice.

"Eugenia has always been a good cook. She even manages a decent meal with the ingredients available in the Enchanted Forest."

"What's the food like there?" Henry asks. "You don't talk much about that world."

"I don't have many good memories of my life there Henry. Storybrooke is the first place that ever felt like home."

"But you grew up in the Enchanted Forest."

"I did, but adopting you and creating our family was what really gave me a home."

Henry looks at his mom, and she's smiling at him so genuinely. It is still overwhelming sometimes to realize how much he means to her, how he has a unique ability to hurt her, because she truly loves him more than anything else in the world.

"Mom?"

"Yeah sweetie?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why didn't you tell me I was adopted?"

"I was wrong not to tell you," Regina tells Henry, reaching across the table to take his free hand for a moment. "You deserve to know where you come from and I kept that from you because I was afraid."

Henry knows what his mother was afraid of, and he feels guilty for making her fears come true. "You were afraid that I wouldn't love you as much if I knew the truth?"

Regina leans forward, places her other hand on Henry's cradling his palm in her hands. "I'm sorry Henry. I was so afraid to lose you, and I let my fears keep me from seeing what you needed."

Henry squeezes Regina's hand. "You know that it doesn't matter to me at all that we aren't biologically related, right? You're my mom."

"I am, and nothing will ever change that."

"It totally won't," Henry agrees. "You shouldn't have been afraid to lose me," he tells her with a little pang about how much he knows he hurt her by pulling away. "Hey Mom? Do you think that maybe we could take a trip to New York? I kind of want you to see where I lived last year. I mean, it's ok if you don't want to, but it's weird that you don't know what I'm talking about when I tell stories. Oh, and there's a diner in Queens that serves the best apple pancakes ever."

Regina smiles and laughs with a little sniffle. "That sounds wonderful. We should go before the school year starts. High school is going to keep you very busy."

"It's still July. Don't remind me about school starting again!" Henry groans, pulling a hand back from Regina to continue eating his pancakes. "Seriously though, you have to try the pancakes in New York. And the bagels."

"I can't wait for you to show me around."

"Me too!"

* * *

Emma spots Henry and Regina as soon as she walks into Granny's.

"Hey kid!" Emma says walking over to Henry.

Snow trails behind her daughter, Neal in her arms. "Good morning."

"Pancake Saturday!" Emma says, because she and Henry had made a tradition of this every week in New York. But she watches the way Henry begins to look deeply uncomfortable, avoiding her eyes and looking over at Regina. Emma has to remind herself that even though she has a memory of Saturday breakfasts with Henry through his whole life that those memories are actually Regina's. This had been what the tradition really looked like: Henry sitting in a booth at Granny's with Regina.

"Do you two want company?" Snow asks. It's been a few days since she's seen Regina, and Snow finds herself missing her former stepmother.

It's Henry who answers. "Maybe another time? We're kind of having a mother son breakfast."

Emma looks hurt, and Regina thinks that perhaps that was Henry's intention.

"Ok, maybe another time," Emma says before quickly retreating to a table in the back of the restaurant.

Regina studies her son once Emma leaves. His face is buried in his breakfast. "Henry?" Regina asks softly.

"What?"

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. I just wanted to have breakfast with you today. That's all," Henry says, but his Mom keeps looking at him like she understands that there is more whether he tells her or not. "Pancake Saturdays are our thing. Not hers." He's back to his pancakes then, so very not interested in talking about this right now.

"If you want to talk to me about Emma you can. Or if you want to try talking to Dr. Hopper again I can make you an appointment. All that talking we didn't do before that we should have: we can do it now."

Henry shrugs. "I don't really want to talk about it right now."

"Ok, but if you decide you want to talk, we always can."

"I just don't want to talk about Emma now," Henry says, and Regina can hear the tears in his voice.

"We don't have to talk about anything you aren't ready for, honey."

Henry nods and swallows around the lump in his throat.

"I love you Henry," Regina says. Even if he gets sick of hearing it, she will tell her son over and over. He will never again believe that he isn't loved.

* * *

Regina follows Emma to the ladies room a few moments later to find Emma leaning over the sink and looking terribly upset. She spots Regina walking into the bathroom, knows immediately that Regina has followed after her.

"I get it," Emma says before Regina has a chance to speak. "I deserve this. I should get a chance to understand how you felt when I took him from you."

And like that Regina's intentions of being sympathetic are so very difficult to hold on to, because the situation is not the same, and how can Emma not understand that? "Listen to me Miss Swan. Henry is not a prize that we are fighting over. He's my son. You put him up for adoption, and you had no right to stride back into his life. What ever relationship Henry wishes to have with you I will support for his sake. But right now he needs some space after a very difficult few years."

"Have you forgotten that you were the reason that time was so hard for him?" Emma volleys back, itching for a fight.

"I haven't," Regina replies, too calm to satisfy Emma, "but that is between Henry and me."

"I'm his mother too."

"You may remember raising Henry, but don't forget that those memories aren't yours."

Emma looks devastated once again, the fight draining out of her instantly. She turns to leave the bathroom.

"Emma wait."

"What now?" Emma asks, "You made your point."

Regina takes a breath and tries to remember why she had followed Emma. She exhales and tries to let go of her anger. "You may not be Henry's mother, but you are important to him. He wants you in his life."

"I'm not so sure."

"He does, but like I said he needs time to rebuild his life here."

"You mean his life with you?" Emma asks, and Regina sees her looking hurt and ready to run.

"Yes I do. Henry may be realizing that you aren't his mother, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He will be devastated if you leave Storybrooke or if you choose not to continue to be a part of his life."

"I won't leave," Emma promises, but she doesn't entirely believe that Henry would miss her if she left now.

"Good. Give him time to figure out what he needs from your relationship," Regina tells Emma before walking out of the room.

* * *

Regina answers her front door that evening to find Robin holding Roland in his arms, the little boy's breathing heavily, his body shaking in his father's arms.

"It's a bit of a rough day," Robin tells Regina.

"Hi sweetie," Regina says, her hand reaching out to run through Roland's hair. "If you two aren't up for spending time with Henry and me tonight we'll understand," she tells Robin.

"Roland refused to hear of such nonsense," Robin replies. "Isn't that right my boy?"

Roland looks up with a little nod. His cheeks are covered in tears. Regina wipes the moisture away with her thumb and tells the boy. "I'm very happy to see you Roland. I'm sorry you feel so sad today."

"I miss Mama."

"I know you do sweetheart." She leans in and kisses his cheek. "Why don't you and your papa come inside, and we can do whatever you want today."

"Henry too?"

"Henry too," Regina tells Roland as she leads Robin inside.

Henry pops his head out of the living room. "Hey Roland! Hey Robin!"

Robin smiles at the boy. "Hi Henry. How are you?"

Roland is quickly squirming out of Robin's arms so he can run over to Henry. "Hi Henry," Roland says, waving his hand in Henry's face and making the older boy chuckle.

"Hey there little hobbit. Want to come play playstation with me? My mom was playing with me, but she isn't very good."

"Hey!" Regina exclaims in mock outrage, making both children laugh.

"Come on," Henry says, ignoring his mother and leading Roland off to play video games.

Robin feels a weight lifted off his chest, as his son smiles for the first time since waking in the morning. "Henry's so good with Roland," Robin comments, wrapping his arm around Regina's waist and pulling her close.

"Henry really likes Roland, and I think he also likes having someone who looks up to him."

"I should think Henry is an excellent roll model. He's kind and brave, just like his mother."

Regina feels so full of joy at the reminder that Robin truly believes these things about her. Even knowing what she did to Marian in the past, he still believes that she is good. "Would you like some wine or tea?" Regina asks.

"Do you have cider?"

"Of course."

Robin peeks into the living room, where Roland and Henry are playing happily.

"How are you holding up?" Regina asks Robin, her hand rubbing his waist as they walk into the kitchen.

Robin shakes his head sadly. "I haven't been able to do anything to help Roland all day."

"That isn't true."

Robin looks at Regina completely disbelievingly.

"Having someone to take care of you when you're sad makes all the difference in the world. Roland will grow up knowing that he will always have that. I can't think of anything more important that you could do."

Robin looks at Regina knowingly, understands that she had never had that, not as a child and not as a grown woman. She turns away from his gaze, pours them each a glass of cider.

"Do you want to watch them play?" Regina asks, seeing how much Robin is worrying over his boy.

"Maybe they'll even let us have a turn."

"Doubtful," Regina replies. "Henry isn't wrong about my lack of skills."

"Ah, well perhaps they'll let me have a turn later. For now I think I will be content to watch them."

They sit together on the couch, and Robin wraps his arm around Regina's shoulder. He loves so much that she relaxes against him instantly. He pulls her tighter to his chest; he wants her closer to him always. Robin smiles as Regina nuzzles into his neck and lets out a noise almost like a purr.

Robin rubs circles on Regina's back, and she pushes closer, losing herself in the affection, soaking it up greedily.

Robin wonders, as he often does, when the last time was that someone touched Regina like she was worth something. It's a devastating thought that she had spent so much of her life without any love. He squeezes his arms around her tighter and presses kisses against her forehead.

"What's wrong?" Regina asks, and Robin realizes how tightly he's clinging to her.

His smile lights up his whole face when she looks up at him. Robin places a strand of hair behind Regina's ear, an excuse to keep touching her face. His palm cradles her cheek. "Nothing's wrong," he reassures her. "I love you so much."

He watches Regina's brow furrow in confusion for a moment, but he soothes doubt from her face with the stroke of his thumbs and she relaxes in his arms, and together they watch their sons playing happily.

* * *

Regina emerges from her en suite bathroom, face wiped clean of makeup. Robin loves her like this. She's always beautiful, but without makeup, her face seems so much more expressive, like she's wiped away another layer of protection.

"What are you smiling at?" Regina asks as she pulls back the blankets and climbs in bed next to Robin.

His arms are around her, and it is so different from the comforting, gentle embraces they've offered each other in recent weeks. He's pulling her to him, kissing her with bruising lips and gentle nips of his teeth. Regina's initial moan of surprises transforms into a lower, deeper moan that sets Robin's body tingling and aching with desire for her. His hands snake under Regina pajama shirt, and the feeling of her bare skin under his hands after too long is intoxicating.

Robin keeps kissing Regina, unable to get enough of this closeness after so long, as he begins pulling at her shirt. Their mouths pull apart as Robin lifts Regina's shirt over her head, revealing her bare skin underneath. He takes in the sight. She's absolutely stunning.

Regina's hands still in Robin's hair, and she looks at him for a moment. "Are you sure you want to do this?" she asks, because he is still mourning his wife and the idea of Robin regretting being with her come morning is too much for Regina to endure.

Robin reaches up to push back the hair from Regina's face, settles his palm on neck, and just that touch is enough to have Regina desperate for him to keep touching her. His other hand lands on her hip, and she shivers at the contact.

"I have never been as certain of anything in my life as I am of you," Robin tells Regina with that smile that melts her. She wants to tease him for his sentimental romanticism, but she can't bring herself to deny how much she loves it.

Regina shakes her head at Robin with a smile, and then the hand on her waist is pushing lower, and she needs Robin closer, needs to feel his skin against hers. She doesn't question it when Robin's hands begin pulling at the remaining material covering her body.

* * *

Regina wakes up screaming. Though it's happened before, Robin knows he will never get used to the sound of Regina so horribly afraid.

Her eyes are wide and unseeing for a moment, and then she sees him. Immediately she reaches for the blanket, pulls it up to cover her naked chest.

"Regina," Robin whispers, soothingly, still uncertain of what to say or do in the wake of these dreams.

"I don't know why this keeps happening," Regina mutters in frustration. The dreams are so much more frequent now that things in her life are finally so good. "I'm sorry for waking you."

"Don't apologize," Robin says quickly, moving closer, wanting to prove that he's here for her. "If you've had a nightmare, I would prefer to be awake with you if you'll let me."

Regina considers reaching for her clothes, but decides not to, doesn't want Robin to know how terribly unsettled the dream has left her, so she lies back down against the pillow. Robin reaches out a tentative arm, and Regina moves in and leans on Robin's chest, his arm loose around her. She hates how he doesn't want to push her, how he treats her as fragile. She knows that she must have said _his_ name, must have screamed out as she dreamt about the feeling of Leopold's body suffocating hers.

Robin watches Regina struggle to get comfortable with the way his skin is touching hers now. She squirms against the feeling of his chest, seems to pull back from the tickle of the hair on his legs. Robin wants to get dressed so that he can spare Regina this agony. He wants to wrap a blanket around her and hold her in a way that feels safe, but he fears that Regina will reject that, will see it as him believing her to be weak. So he remains paralyzed, uncertain of what to do.

Finally Robin can't take the look of Regina battling herself any longer. "What do you need me to do?" he asks.

Regina shakes her head, as if this is the final straw, this acknowledgement that she is not ok. And then she's bolting from the bed.

"Regina wait."

She grabs her robe and wraps it around herself, Robin's eyes on her as she picks up her pajamas, her cheeks burning with shame. How could she let Robin see her this weak, this terribly out of control of herself?

Robin pulls on his boxers and t-shirt. "Regina please," he begs. He thinks for an instant that perhaps he should give her space, let her leave the room and calm herself down before confronting her. But his instincts are screaming at him that it would be the wrong thing to do. He is overcome with the need to make her understand that these moments where she is vulnerable only make him love her more.

Regina's cheeks are burning and she can't say anything to him. She needs to leave, but Robin is in front of her now, so close, and she doesn't want to look at him because if she does she will break, and she is already so very, very broken in front of him.

"Do you have any idea how much I admire you?" Robin asks, staying right there with her, blocking her path from leaving the room. "You are so strong, Regina."

She stops moving, stops trying to escape from him so Robin reaches out and takes Regina's hand. He's so relieved when she lets him. "You have survived so much. Knowing what you've gone through, what you _survived_, makes me love you even more." Still she won't look at him, and he squeezes her hand. "Look at who you are now. The strength it takes to let yourself feel again and love again after everything in your past makes you so very beautiful."

Her laugh is mirthless, utterly disbelieving and it breaks Robin's heart.

"Regina," he whispers, his fingers rubbing circles on her hands. For a long moment they just stand together, Robin reaching out to cup Regina's cheek in his palm, drawing her eyes up to meet his. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'm sorry," Regina says, and Robin sees the fight leave her. She no longer appears ready to run from the room, relaxes into his touch.

"No apology is necessary. Can we sit down and talk?" Robin asks.

Regina wraps her arms around herself and climbs back into bed. Robin sits next to her, his body facing hers, an arm wrapped loosely around her shoulder.

"I need you to understand something," Robin tells Regina. "I will never think less of you for having a nightmare, and I will never think less of you for the horrors that were visited upon you in the past."

Regina feels like her heart is about to beat out of her chest. He knows. It's no surprise of course. She knows the things she screams in her sleep, knows that her reaction to Robin's touch must have erased any doubt. But hearing him say it makes her feel sick with the weakness and vulnerability.

Regina hates herself for the monster that she became as queen, but it's a persona she learned to embrace, one that she still pulls out when she's afraid. But to be weak, to have been a girl forced into marriage against her will, to be a woman still haunted by the nights trapped beneath her husband all these years later, this is something that she doesn't show to anyone.

"I meant what I said. I think you are amazingly strong. You survived hell, and you have worked so hard to be a person that you are proud of."

"I've done terrible things."

Robin's voice is so strong and unwavering as he tells her, "You did not deserve what happened to you."

Regina is looking at Robin like she doesn't understand the words that he's said. But she's staring at him, hanging on to his words and the caring in his eyes, so he presses on. "You can tell me."

Regina's shaking her head. "I don't know why I've started having these dreams now."

"Maybe part of you knows that you're safe to speak of the past now. You're always safe with me."

Robin's hand moves softly in Regina's hair, and slowly she finds herself adjusting to his touch again. She moves a little closer, her hand falling on his thigh and gripping hard for a moment as a wave of sorrow hits her. It's unfamiliar. Usually when she thinks of Leopold it's with anger and hate, but this makes her feel sick and out of control. Robin's thumb strokes the side of her face, and she can't stop the tears that falls down her cheeks. She hasn't cried over this since she was a teenager.

Robin keeps touching her, wiping away the tears as they fall. She knows that he won't push her to talk if she doesn't want to, but part of her wants to talk about this, wants to try to let it go so badly.

"I was seventeen when I married Leopold," Regina begins. "I was so in love with Daniel, but he worked in the stables and I knew my mother would never allow us to be together. When she orchestrated the engagement to Leopold, Daniel and I planned to run away together. My mother found us before we could leave. She crushed Daniel's heart."

Regina squeezes her eyes closed against the sobs threatening to bubble up.

"Oh Regina." Robin's arms are around her, rocking her. "I'm so sorry." He's rubbing her back and whispering to her. "Daniel's death wasn't your fault. I can't imagine how a mother could ever hurt her child so terribly."

"She said she wanted what was best for me," Regina mutters into Robin's chest. She sounds like a little girl, and Robin begins to understand how much Regina had suffered when she was young. It hurts to know this. If Cora had killed Daniel, he can only imagine what else she had done to her daughter.

"I'm so sorry."

Regina looks up at Robin. "I was still a child when I was married, and all Leopold desired was a baby sitter for his daughter and a warm body in his bed at night." She lets out a shuttering breath, the dream from moments ago pushing in on her again. "Those nights…" Regina trails off, thinks of the pain and the fear and the humiliation, and admits something that she never has before. "I didn't want that."

"I am so sorry you suffered that way Regina," Robin tells her, his eyes wet and his voice thick. "I am so sorry. I want you to know that I think you so brave for surviving." Regina shakes her head. She feels weak even remembering it now. "You were - you _are_ so strong."

Robin watches Regina, her eyes wide and disbelieving, and he thinks that even if it takes years he will help her understand that she has never been weak, even when she had been so terribly abused and so terribly lost, she was so strong.

"How long were you married before he died?"

"Six years."

Robin's chest aches. Six years of a marriage she hadn't wanted. He feels the tears coating his cheeks, and his body shakes with a mixture of sorrow and anger. "And you killed him?"

"I arranged it, yes."

"Good," Robin growls. "I hope he suffered."

"It wasn't enough." Regina had killed him, and still the anger had burned in her. She had held onto that anger so tightly, let her wrap it around herself and hide away the terrified girl she had been on her wedding night. She had killed him, but that girl was still there.

"You won in the end Regina. Don't forget that."

"I don't see how that's true."

"Are you happy now?"

She nods and smiles and lets out a soft cry. "Very happy."

"Then you've won. You survived more than most people could, and look at who you've become. You're a good, kind, strong, powerful woman with the most beautiful heart I have ever seen."

Regina shakes her head, doesn't understand how anyone could look at a heart that dark and see beauty in it. Robin has her pulled so close, their arms wrapped around each other, legs intertwined. He isn't running, isn't blaming her for the pain that she suffered.

"I held your heart in my hands, and it is beautiful."

Regina reaches for Robin's hand, pulling it to rest against her chest, his other arm still encircling her. Robin is so grateful for the comfort Regina seems to draw from him.

"All I could feel for so long was the anger," Regina admits.

"It's ok to feel something else now," Robin says, and he knows that means pain, but he also trusts that she needs to feel that to move forward, to finally be free of the nightmares of the past.

Regina is touching Robin's hand reverently, fingers stroking their way down his arm and over the tattoo that has meant so much. Robin watches her touching him with so much love and care.

"I was still married when Tinkerbell led me to you. I was so angry, and I didn't know how to let go of it. I was terrified of losing the power that came with that anger, and I was afraid of being hurt again if I opened my heart."

"I won't hurt you," Robin promises.

"I believe you. I won't hurt you either." Regina leans forward and presses her lips to Robin. The kiss is gentle and soft, and Regina laughs as she pulls back. "I love you so much."

Robin is looking at her with that smile, his bottom lip between his teeth, and he looks to Regina like a little kid unable to fully believe his luck. It's still a strange feeling to have such an expression directed at her, but she won't run from it. Robin's here in her arms looking at her with the same love she feels in her heart.

Regina pulls Robin closer to her, hugging him tightly, and finds that there is no further need for words.

* * *

Regina and Robin had dozed off in the early hours of the morning, sleeping peacefully in each other's arms. By the time they wake again it's midmorning. The bedroom is barely light and the sound of rain pounding against the windows fills the room.

"Good morning," Robin whispers, a smile already forming on his face. Regina is so beautiful when she wakes, hair mussed, a small smile as she looks up and sees him.

"Morning." She leans up to press a kiss to Robin's jaw.

Robin tilts his head down so that he can capture Regina's lips. She giggles, high pitched and light, and Robin loves that sound so much. He kisses her playfully, nipping at her lip, his hands running through her hair.

"I could begin every morning this way," Robin tells Regina.

"It's nearly afternoon," Regina says before leaning in for another teasing kiss. "Henry and Roland are probably already awake. I'm sure Henry's destroyed the kitchen by now."

Robin laughs, tightens his hold on Regina for a moment. "I suppose we should check on them."

"Come on," Regina says, grasping Robin's hand and dragging him from the bed. "I'm starving."

"Perhaps the boys have cooked breakfast."

Regina laughs and shakes her head doubtfully, before leading Robin by the hand to the living room where Henry and Roland are sitting on the couch together watching cartoons and eating out of a box of _Lucky Charms._

"Good morning boys," Robin says.

Regina leans down to press a kiss to the crown of Henry's head and then Roland's.

The moment Regina sits down Roland climbs onto her lap and makes himself comfortable. Her arms wrap around the little boy. "Hi Gina. Henry is teaching me all about Pokeman. Have you ever seen it? And we're eating marshmallows for breakfast. Henry said it's better when you make breakfast, but the marshmallows are really good too."

Robin laughs at his son. "I can tell that you've been eating sugar my boy."

"Henry says it's what kids eat for breakfast in this land."

Regina looks over at Henry, who looks quite happy about his influence on Roland. "Sorry Robin," Regina says, still smiling at Henry. "It seems that my son is a terrible influence."

Henry shrugs and holds the box of cereal out to Regina. "Want some?"

"You know I do," she says taking the box and grabbing a handful. "It really is good," she tells Robin offering him the container.

Robin eats his cereal while he watches Regina. She looks so happy. It takes so little, he thinks, to bring Regina joy, to make her whole face light up. But Robin knows how little happiness she has had in her life. He thinks of a teenager deeply in love and dreaming of a quiet life with a poor boy that meant more to her than money or power ever could. Robin had known of Regina when she was queen, had thought of her as the symbol of the greed and power he long fought against, but that whole time she herself had been trapped for so long that she had forgotten what freedom and happiness could look like. Robin promises himself that she will never forget again.


End file.
